My Roommate Plays With Dolls

She nodded, placing her multiple shopping bags on the floor.

"So we can fuck, right?"

Blair rolled his eyes.

"Hardly. I just woke up."

She glared at him.

"Then why the hell did you want me over?!" she demanded, stomping her platforms and scuffing the nice wooden floor.

"Could you be quiet? You'll wake up Yuri." He replied irritably.

She smacked Blair in the face.

"Oh, is that why we can't fuck--now you're cheating on me? With another Asian?! You people all look alike, doesn't that make it incest?!"

"What?!" He hardly followed her train of thought. "What are you talking about? I'm not cheating on you!"

"Then who the hell is Yuri?!" she screeched.

Blair pointed to the man on the couch.

"My roommate!" He had began shouting as well, which certainly meant that Yuri had been woken up.

Yuri only twitched; after Blair had gone to sleep, he had eaten half a box of donuts and chugged a can of Mountain Dew, so he was in the midst of a sugar crash.

She smacked him again.

"You're rooming with a hot Asian chick?! That man isn't a hot Asian chick--or is he?" She frowned, feeling up Yuri's chest again. "...But this bitch is such a flat whore."

"Would you stop that?" He grabbed her hands, mainly because there was something inside of him that got angry whenever she touched Yuri. "Yuri is a man and he's not Asian!"

Explaining this gave him a headache.

"Maybe you should just leave." He replied, frowning.

She pouted.

"But Blair-bear, you said we were gonna do it aaaall night! And I brought you some presents, and some yummy stuff, and I bought special new lingerie, and--well--augh!"

Completely ignoring Yuri, she pulled off her poor, too-tiny shirt, shoving Blair's face into her lacily-clad breasts.

He shoved her away immediately, feeling somewhat disgusted. What was wrong with him today? Usually that was all it took to get him in the mood. But now he just felt disgusted.

He couldn't think of anything to say, so he turned silent.

She frowned, unsure of what to do next.

"...What do I have to do--do you want head, is that what you want? I'll give you head!"

He took a step back.

"Maybe some other time..."

"What's wrong with you?!" she exclaimed, on the verge of tears. "Have you gone gay, is that it? Experimenting behind my back, and suddenly you don't like boobs anymore?"

"Of course not! That's disgusting!" He said it out of instinct, but he couldn't even convince himself. "I just need some time to myself! You can even come back, later!"

"Nice try!" she snapped, grabbing her things. "You're just going to have to jerk off alone in the dark, because I'm not coming back for a loooong time! And you know Jake Tyler? Yeah, he asked me to cheat on you, but I said no--I might as well tap that now, huh?!"

Blair remained silent, knowing that if he spoke, it'd just be a stupid, rash decision.

Sobbing, she ran out of the apartment; after she slammed the door, the sound of shattering glass could be heard.

Blair just slumped over onto the couch, running his hands through his hair. What was he ever going to do...?

Yuri blinked, opening his eyes slightly.

"...Blair?..." he mumbled.

"...what?" He replied miserably.

"...Was someone here?"

"...No." he decided. "No one. I'm going back to sleep..."

Yuri blinked.

"Then what's that bag on the counter?..." There was a indeed, a bright pink shopping bag on the counter; a little note attached read, "For Schmoopy-poo <3".