Faust Is A Hot Creeper

Faust sat outside a construction site, waiting patiently for the man to arrive. He'd be carrying the dead body he needed to revive, and so Faust would have to intercept him. He was curious to see what he looked like, because he was more than likely a big, buff gangster. His type to a T. He was excited, to say the least.

Thaddeus Goodman made his way through the forest, dragging the stupid heavy plastic bag behind him. He was praying it wouldn't leak; the thing was so disgusting, he couldn't bear to sling it over his back. How he loathed jobs like this.

Finally, the trees grew sparse; it was the construction site. He could dump the body at last. Breathing a deep sigh of relief, he looked around for a big enough hole. He was determined to cover this motherfucker in cement and call it a night.

He looked up from his hiding place. He heard the man he as looking for! He peaked out from behind the wall, staring down the man. Oh, he was exactly his type. Adorable, in the weirdest way. He smiled happily. Perfect.

"Hey!" He said, walking out from behind the wall. "Hand me the body, you cutie~"

He purred, hoping to get close enough to grope him.

Thaddeus did what came naturally; screamed bloody murder and chucked the bag at the strange ghost's head. Pulling out his gun, he fired two shots; both missed by a long shot.

"Get the fuck away from here before I kill you!" he shouted.

Faust barely managed to catch the body, but it was so heavy he ended up toppling over and having to shove it off of him. Not that it bothered him in the least. He was pretty used to corpses, and this one was even in a bag, so it was nice.

He laughed as he stood up, fixing his hair. "Oh, did I scare you? Sorry, you were so cute I couldn't resist saying hi~"

He fired another shot. "Run before I fill you full of hot lead, bitch!"

"Oh. I don't think you will. You haven't hit me with three shots, that's kind of sad." He replied, laughing loudly and obnoxiously. "Besides, you know you find me attractive."

He grinned. Even he found himself attractive, now.

"No tits, no fuck given!" he shouted, firing another shot. This one at least hit the area by Faust's feet. "Now scram before I beat your face in!"

"Ooh, no!" He replied, sitting down onto the corpse. "I couldn't, we haven't have a deep philosophical discussion yet."

Naturally, Thaddeus rushed at Faust and beat him over the head with his gun. This time, he didn't miss.

"Oww!" He complained, but otherwise appeared to be unhurt. "That hurt, you're kind of a bitch, you know?"

He laughed. "That's okay, as long as you're not like that in bed."

Surprised, he hit him again.

He just shrugged it off, feeling the place on his head where some sort of mark should be.

"It's not going to work. I have divine protection." He flashed him a perfect smile. "You seem like a top, though; I can respect that."

Thaddeus did the first thing that came to mind; he grabbed the bag and ran. This guy was obviously some kind of fucked up ghost or some shit.

"Fuck you!" he screamed. "If Satan wants my eternal damnation he can get in line!"

"Noooo! I need that!" He insisted, chasing after him. "Wait!! I need that, I'll pay you!"

"Yeah, with my soul!!" he shouted back, even though that didn't make any sense. He kept running until he tripped over a tree root--his short legs had always been a weakness of his. He and then plastic bag tumbled face first-into the ground.

Faust sat down on top of him, naturally. He groped his ass.

"Oooh! How cute, you're clumsy~!" He laughed, grabbing the bad and hefting it over his shoulders as he stood up. "I'll see you again, cutie~!"

He took a few steps away, grinning widely.

"The motherfuck are you doing?!!" screamed Thaddeus, climbing to his feet. "Give that back or I will fucking kill you!"

"Nope~!" He replied, shaking his head. "I need this guy, for official heavenly business!"

He laughed loudly and obnoxiously.

"You couldn't catch me with your stubby little legs, anyway!"

Accepting the challenge, Thaddeus dashed toward him like a raging bull.