Hesekiel and Merlin Meet For The Very First Time

Merlin kicked him again.

"No. Get off of my bed, it's mine. Sleep on top of your stupid mystery box, this is where I have sex, you disgusting creature.

"Your head is on the stain," he insisted, distraught. "Come now, I'll see if we can get you a sleeping bag or something but a man's bed is his palace, you sick, sick person."

Hesekiel responded by grabbing Merlin, lifting him up, and then laying partially on top of him, so as to keep him in place so he would stop being annoying. He snuggled up to him, nuzzling him.

"Good night," he reiterated.

With a content sigh, he closed his eyes.

Merlin punched him in the face, unsure of what else to do.

"Let me go!" he pleaded. "Please, have mercy--I can't breathe!

"Good God, man, at the least take a shower!"

"No, this is divine punishment," he replied, and though he was joking, it was impossible to tell. He was rather enjoying himself at this point. Making Merlin squirm was becoming a new favorite past time.

"Lay down and sleep, or I'll spread a rumor that you have an incurable STD," he threatened. This time, he was serious.

He snorted.

"As if anyone would believe an ugly, foul-smelling beast like you. I'll take my chances.

"What use is my reputation if I'm dead from this horrific stench?!"

He shrugged slightly, glancing at Merlin. He really found the man amusing, in a kind of sad way. He was rather girly and feminine, and there wasn't much he could do when Hesekiel laid on him like this.

"Go to bed," he said simply, snuggling up to him, still.

Merlin moaned softly, struggling.

"Please, anything but this," he begged. "How about I shower with you--anything but sleeping next to you while you smell like this.

"I'll moan the whole night. I'll keep you up until I die from the stench, though that will surely happen before daybreak. Come, man, have a heart--what have I done to deserve this?! I am a human being, I have the right to live!"

Merlin moaned and struggled and whined, pushing Hesekiel ineffectively. Then came the sniffles.

"Good God, man, have a heart," he said, lifting the hanky slightly to dab at his watering eyes. "This is horrible."

He rose an eyebrow.

"You're willing to shower with me," he asked, rather amused by the idea. "You're willing to go off to shower, right now, in the middle of the night with another man."

He sat up, the slightest twinge of guilt pulling on his heart.

"But fine. I'll go shower."

"Thank God," he exclaimed, still clutching his handkerchief. "I swear, I thought I was going to die." He stood up and dusted off his jacket, flinching each time he came across one of Hesekiel's hairs.

"Now, let's go--I'm not embarrassed if you aren't. As if this is the first time I've showered in the middle of the night with a strange man--over it, I say!" He ran a hand through his hair. "Women are my thing now, the desire that devours me."

"You're disgusting," Hesekiel reminded him, as he stood up. He begrudgingly removed his new favorite scarf, tossing it next to his box of furs.

He headed out the tent, down the line of caravans to the shower. It was, predictably, empty. Though, Hesekiel new better than to walk in without knocking first. After he was certain it was vacant, he headed inside and ran the bath, testing to make sure the water was warm enough for him.

Then, he sat down in the tub, sighing ever so slightly. He preferred bathing in the river, but this was fine too.

Merlin awkwardly walked inside, gazing around in distaste.

"You'll be fine on your own now, won't you? I'll just head back to my caravan." He lowered his hanky slightly, shaving in the crisp night air.

Hesekiel motioned for him to join him.

"If I have to shower, so do you," he replied. "Get in here, or I'll drag you in while you're clothed."

Hesekiel just wanted to make sure Merlin didn't pick up any women on his way back to the caravan.

He made a small, effeminate whining noise and stopped his foot.

"Come now, surely I don't have to--look at you, you're fine on your own. You're not drowning. I'm merely tired and in need of some rest--is that so criminal? I'll just go back to the caravan and sleep in my nice bed."

He smiled pleadingly.

"Come on, haven't you been cruel enough today?"

Hesekiel stood up and dragged Merlin into the bath, shoving him into the bath water and holding him in place, so they were sitting together.

"I told you," he replied.

Merlin opened his mouth to scream again, but thought better of it. Instead, he glared wordlessly at Hesekiel, splashing him in the face.

"I hate you," he said darkly. "You are not allowed in my caravan, do you understand? Not. Allowed."

Hesekiel smiled the tiniest smile of triumph. Yes, he liked being roommates with Merlin. Terrorizing him was perfect.

"You better get clean," he teased, leaning back into the water so he could rinse out his hair.

Merlin just sat there, as if unsure of what to do next. He squirmed every few seconds, the wet cloth sticking uncomfortably to his skin. The parts of him that were above water grew very cold, until his fingers started to numb.

"These clothes were barely a week old," he said, all traces of energy gone from his voice. "Now I'm cold and wearing ruined clothes and sitting with a madman who evidently hates me, for whatever reason. Excuse me if I'm feeling less than fine."

He hugged his arms to his chest, trying to stay warm.

"I don't think I can even begin to explain how much I hate this situation, or you. My life has become complete shit in less than twenty-four hours. I don't even know why I bother talking, because you won't get it."

"You're a pussy," Hesekiel replied simply. "You deserve this sort of treatment. You're a douchebag."

He finished rinsing his hair and stood up, moving over to the shower part of the bath, where he shook off the water.

"Let's go."

"No," said Merlin, sinking lower beneath the water. "I want to die here. Leave me be. You'll have to head back without me."

He sunk lower into the water, so bubbles emitted from his mouth and nose.

He grabbed the other man, dragging him from the water.

"Stop being so dramatic," he replied, dragging him all the way back to the tent. "I took a shower for you, isn't that what you wanted."

Merlin shivered violently, wishing he could cling to someone warm but not quite willing to voluntarily touch Hesekiel. At least he smelled decent now.

The magician tried to say something, but his teeth were chattering too hard to let any words out. Instead, he just hugged his knees to his chest and tried to preserve what little warm his body had retained. It was highly ineffective, between the cold night air and his sopping clothes; his lips quickly turned blue. He stared at his pink fingertips as the feeling drained from them.

"...you're an idiot," Hesekiel replied, grabbing Merlin and beginning to remove his clothes. "You are pathetic, and you disgust me. If I was heartless, I'd let you freeze to death."

He ripped the rest of Merlin's clothes off, before he shoved him under the blankets. "Warm up."

Merlin shivered, glaring at the blankets; man, this guy was a douchebag. Nonetheless, he felt the feeling return to his toes, and his complexion became rosy again. He lifted the blankets over his still-chilled ears, his shivers subsiding.

"...Whatever. As if your opinion concerns me," he said, refusing to thank Hesekiel. It was his fault, after all. "My blankets are damp now, and I have to fetch new ones from my chest. Leave me alone."

Hesekiel grabbed the blankets and handed them to Merlin.

"I'm going out," he replied, before he headed out the door of the caravan and then disappeared completely.

The next morning he returned, all dirty, and earthy smelling again. The bath had been pretty much all for nothing.

Merlin was sleeping somewhat soundly underneath his blankets, having finally passed out from exhaustion during the night. He wrinkled his nose slightly in his sleep as it was assaulted by the new, less-than-perfumed smell.