Church Bells

He frowned.

"Don't call me that, and where did you get all of this food?"

"Never you mind that," he said, booping mars on the nose. "Just dig in."

As hungry as he was, he shook his head.

"No, I refuse. You cooked this, I highly doubt it's safe."

"Why?" he purred curiously.

"Because you keep trying to coerce me into sex, and CUDDLING!" He shouted, as if cuddling was a sin.

"Cuddling is God's way of granting his children closeness and the feeling of safety on Earth," he said very seriously. "Do you reject God's gifts?"

"No, I just reject yours!" He spat angrily. "I don't like you touching me."

Except, that was a total lie. Mars wasn't sure whether going to confession would even help; which would he confess about? The fact he had lied, or the fact that he enjoyed the touch of another man?

"Am I too holy for you?" he asked kindly. "A lot of people feel that way at first."

"Ha!" He laughed without humor. "That's the opposite problem I have with you!"

"Want me to show you?" he asked with a smile.

"Show me what?" He snapped, crossing his arms irritably.

"Just how holy I can make you feel?"

He crossed his arms.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, and frankly, I don't want to know."

"Did you know that the male climax is the closest one on Earth can get to convening with God?"

Mars stared for a moment, and then his face turned completely red.

"Th-that's ridiculous!"

He shook his head.

"No, it's completely true--an angel told me and everything."

"...you're completely insane. You really need to get out of my house." He crossed his arms, looking quite serious suddenly.

He smiled.

"Don't tell me you don't believe in angels--you believe in demons, why not their counterparts?"

"That's not the part I'm referring to! The fact that you could ever possibly think that sex..." He adjusted his glasses. "Sex if for procreation and procreation only. I don't care if you think otherwise, as long as you do so far away from me."

"You sure didn't mind earlier," he said, eating another egg.

He turned completely red.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about!" He barked.

"You were very excited by my touch before..."

"Y-you...!" He looked away, adjusting his glasses again. "I honestly have no idea what you're talking about."

"Should I remind you?" he asked with a smile.

He glared at him.

"Don't you dare touch me again!"