Don't Give In

"Jamir's brother went out to buy dinner, so he and I were all alone," he continued, closing his eyes. "It was cold, very cold as we sat on the bed and watched television--eventually, we sat very close."

Mars stopped speaking for a moment, caught up in the story himself. Priestly sounded so invested in it, it seemed almost impossible to tell him to stop now. He seemed to be recalling a fond memory, or perhaps one that only grew fond due to time.

Mars had stopped speaking for the moment, but he found it hard to protest after he had stopped.

"It didn't happen all at once, you know--rarely does, when you're that young." His hand slid across the sheets onto Mars's shoulder, where it rested casually.

"First, we huddled close, and then we were in each other's arms. I was trying to make out the program on the TV I remember, even though there was so much static I couldn't hear the words. My black friend slowly held my hand; I didn't think much of it."

He chuckled softly.

"Can you guess what happened next, Mars?"

"I don't want to," he grumbled, continuing to look away from Priestly. He just hoped the story was over soon.

"Jamir kissed me, of course," he continued, lowering his voice as he leaned closer to Mars. "I kissed back, too. I wasn't sure why, I just...did. Things escalated rather quickly, you could say..."

Mars bit his lip.

"I don't care," he insisted quietly. It was mostly true.

"Now, I could go on describing exactly what we did, as I still remember, but I don't think I will." He giggled, leaning even closer.

"The point of the story is--Jamir and I had never done anything before that day. Any idea why?"

He leaned over Mars, so he could whisper in his ear.

"Because I was afraid, Mars. I was in denial about wanting another person." His calloused fingers toyed with Mars's hair.

Unable to take it anymore, he quickly stood up and reached into his pockets, desperately grabbing for his cigarettes. He opened the case and took the last one, lighting it. He inhaled deeply, fidgeting as he did so. He took more breaths, trying to calm himself down. It wasn't working very well.

He looked back at Priestly, grinding his teeth together.

"You don't know anything about me," he snapped, smoke seeping from his mouth and nose. "You think you know but you don't. I'm not a fag and I certainly don't like you. If you...if you're going to be a dick, get out!"

"I'd never mistake you for a fellow faggot, Marsy," he reassured him, still smiling gently. "I was just...telling a story is all. Why, did you have something to ask?"

He smiled and unbuttoned his shirt all the way, so his bare chest was showing.

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired--you can stay up if you want, though. I can sleep with the lights on."

Mars glowered at him, taking a final drag on his cigarette before it put it out on the nightstand.

"You're sleeping on the floor," he told him, smoke seeping from his mouth. "And no, for your information, I don't have anything to ask you, except that you put your shirt back on."

He slipped his shirt off completely, unbuttoning his pants.

"I sleep in the nude."

Mars looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. He couldn't help but want to look behind him, just to see if the other man was more attractive than he was. Of course he already knew the answer, but he couldn't help but be curious. He cleared his throat, glancing back.

"Are you not tired, Mars?" he asked, stretching out on the bed. "I don't mind sharing--you can rest while I try to sleep."

Why did he feel so awkward? It wasn't fair, with how comfortable Priestly seemed to feel.

"Sure, whatever," he grumbled, feeling defensive for no good reason. "Just move over so I can sleep, homo."

He did as he was asked, though he didn't even attempt to get under the blankets.

"Make yourself comfy."

Mars frowned deeply.

"I'm...gonna change first," he said, using any excuse to further stall laying down next to Priestly. He turned around and rifled through his bag, grabbing his pajama bottoms. He pulled off his shirt, and then his pants, very quickly putting his pajamas on and pretending nothing had happened.

Then, he sat on the bed, still trying to stall actually laying down.

Priestly closed his eyes.

"You can lay down, you know. I really don't mind." He scooted slightly closer to Mars.

"I...I'm okay," he insisted, trying not to fidget with his dirty hair. It needed washed, but he didn't care enough to wash it. It smelled like smoke and blood.

He slowly laid on the bed, facing away from Priestly as much as he possibly could. Somehow, he had his doubts about how well the night would be going in terms of sleep.

He gently rubbed Mars's back, massaging his shoulders.

"You've been on you own for a while, huh?"

He squirmed, trying to move away from his touch. Not because it didn't feel good, but for quite the opposite reason.

"N-no," he grumbled. "None of your business! I...I was with Rhode for a while."

"The name sounds familiar--do tell," he pressed, scooting closer and continuing to massage him.

"He's a friend," he mumbled. "I met him while hunting. He used to be a sheriff, or something. I don't know..." He mumbled, swallowing roughly. He wished Priestly would leave him alone. He was terrified of having an adverse affect. And he knew it would happen soon.

"So you travelled together?" He asked, trailing a hand down Mars arm, over his hip, back up to his shoulders again.

"Y...yes," he mumbled, arching his back ever so slightly. "We...did just for a little but...."

"But what?"