My Girlfriend Who Works At a Gaybar

"What?" he asked, crestfallen. "But...the pizza just got here. I thought we could talk a little longer." He toyed with his sash.

Rosario bit his lip. Alex seemed so disappointed.

"...I'm allergic to water," he explained. "Just looking at it...freaks me out. Okay?"

He wasn't sure why he had just lied or why it had been such a terrible one, either.

"...Allergic to water," he repeated, biting his lip. "Ah. I get it. It's fine, really..." He rubbed his arm, glancing at the floor.

"I've made a mistake. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so...forward."

Rosario just wanted to stab an icepick into his face. Of course he sounded like a huge dick.

"No!" he insisted, rubbing his face. "It's...okay...it IS a lie, but it's...just...it's hard to explain and this is our first date!"

"It's okay. I know it's me." He smiled painfully. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to, really. I don't want any pity dates."

"I have a fetish for getting wet!" he shouted suddenly.

Oh no.

Why had he just done that?

This was a disaster. Alex was going to kick him out for sure, now.

"...Um. Okay," he said, raising an eyebrow. "That's fine. Were you afraid I wouldn't be okay with that, or...?"

He giggled, covering his mouth with a hand. "I have a shower, you know. Silly."

"No!" He exclaimed, horrified. "You don't get it! It....I'm an abomination!"

"Not really," he said, shrugging. "I actually tend to get a lot of tranny chasers, and they can get pretty strange. You're probaly fine, hun."

"But...." He insisted, wringing his hands. "I....it's really....it's really not okay. I...i'm weird! I'm a disgusting person! I ask men out pretending their women and then I have to tell them I can't get it up withlut getting wet and usually it happens on accident and then I have to explain it, and...."

He bit his lip.

"I...never mind."

"So you want me to do it on purpose?" He asked, holding Rosario's hand. "We can shower together if you want--I don't mind taking off my makeup."

"I...don't want to," he replied, pulling away from him. It was a knee jerk reaction he couldn't control. He just wanted to tell Alex that he thought he was a disgusting sinner and a fag and a tranny. Like he had done with all the others.

"I don't want to...I don't want to be here," he said, feeling a sudden closing feeling on his chest.

"Is our tub not big enough?" He asked, confused.

He felt it grip his chest, like claws digging into his heart. It felt like poison flowing through his veins. Rosario reached for his jacket, for the inhaler inside, but he felt clumsy and like he was unable to complete the task. His vision narrowed.

Rosario gestured for his jacket, hoping that Alex understood what he meant.

Alex suddenly remembered a boy who had passed out on the playground in the first grade. He dug through the jacket pockets until he found the inhaler, which he hurriedly pressed into Rosario's hands.

"Are you okay, hun?" He asked, ready to catch Rosario if he fell.

Rosario shook the inhaler s best as he could, before he pressed it to his mouth. He inhaled deeply, letting it drop the floor as he coughed.

It took a few minutes, but when he could breath again, he felt more shame. Two attacks in one day.

"I need a shower," he said. "A long, bath, maybe...."

"I've got some new pink bubble bath," he offered, rubbing Rosario's back. "I can run a bath fr you , does that sound good?"

He nodded.

"I...I'm sorry," he replied quietly. "This...shouldn't happen."

"It's the first date," he chuckled, kissing him on the cheek. "It's okay if things are a little rough. In fact, one of the worst first dates I've ever had ended with some of the most amazing sex--"

He paused, blushing. "...Not that I'm that easy anymore. I'm a guy with standards."

"You've been trying to sleep with me all night," Rosario pointed out, frowning. "And don't count on amazing sex from me. I'm terrible."

He bit his lip, obviously hurt by that remark.

"Well...I wasn't really serious about it. I mean, I like to flirt, but I'm not that type of guy--I'm classy, really!" He tightened the sash on his robe self-consciously.

"And I'm straight," he grumbled to himself, looking grumpy.

"...What's that supposed to mean?" he demanded, scratching his head. "Just because I have a dick doesn't make me a slut..."

Rosario bit his tongue and just shook his head.

"Never mind."

"What," he asked, grabbing Rosario by the shirt, "Are you a slut?! So what if I used to be? I'm not anymore, okay--I, I have standards now. I wait past the first date--I wait until the fifth date! At least!"