Fluff With A Vampire

Tobias tied a box around the handle of his black picnic basket, satisfied with the result. He dug around his excessively furnished tent for his parasol. Today was sunny but cool, the perfect day for a picnic. Best of all, he hadn't seen hide nor hair of any of his vampiric stalkers for weeks. It was a perfect day indeed.

As though on cue, from behind him came a voice, and over his shoulder appeared the parasol in question. "I think this is what you are looking for?"
Ah, yes, of course it had to be Maudlin. The redhead vampire had invited himself in, and of course had his usual stupid grin on his face. "Are you going out? I suppose it's a nice day for it. I'm not terribly fond of such weather, you can imagine."

Tobias snatched the parasol from him. "I prefer cloudy days, but that's what this is for, you dirtbag." He placed the parasol down next to the basket and went about searching for his blanket.

"What brings you back into my life? God playing another stupid joke? I bet you're here to ruin my carpet again."

Maudlin examined the carpet. "Mm, no, it stills looks plenty ruined to me. Actually, I'm not really here for any particular purpose." He walked slowly and casually in a wide circle, looking at and poking things of various natures.
"Oh, I did have a question." He paused, fishing through his pocket for a moment and pulling out a brass watch, clearly antique and definitely valuable. He looked at it and continued speaking. "I found this the other day. Do you want it?" He looked at Tobias and held out the watch. "I don't have much need for it. I don't like watches. They're really redundant when time doesn't really pass, you understand."

After giving him a suspicious look, Tobias snatched the watch from his hand. "What do you want for it? It's kind of an old piece of junk, so I won't give you much," he said, turning it over and examining it. He could tell just by looking that it was the real thing, and probably very valuable, but he'd be damned if he let a dirty vampire know that.

Maudlin shrugged. "Like I said, I don't care much for watches or the like. Just keep it. I've no need for it anyway." He put his hands in his pocket.
Again, there was his smile, though it was slightly less cocky this time than it usually was. "Now, you'd best be off before the day disappears, hm?"

Tobias didn't so much as reach for his parasol, instead clutching the watch close to his frill-covered chest.

"What's the catch?" he asked flatly, his eyes not leaving Maudlin. "I have to become your blood slave, or your butt slave, or something even sicker if I take this, don't I? What's the goddamn catch?"

Maudlin raised an eyebrow. "I can't do something nice for you, just because? If there has to be a catch, it's that you're saving me the effort of getting rid of it. There's nothing in this world I want from you. Alright?" His tone had taken on an edge that Tobias had not heard it take before, as though he himself was somewhat offended by the idea that there had to be some catch to a gesture that he seemed to consider a gift.

He continued to pout, but his eyes widened; Maudlin's rant had caught him off-guard.  He slipped the watch into his pocket.

"...Fine.  But don't you dare request any favors later."  He grabbed his basket and his blanket and his parasol, and his small arms grew more than full.  He attempted to shuffle out of the front door, walking slowly so as not to let anything slip out of his grasp.

Maudlin watched him, arms folded across his chest for a moment, before stepping forward and grabbing the basket from him. "You're going to hurt yourself. Where are you going?"
His offer to help didn't really need explanation, but his following assurance that he'd leave Tobias alone once he'd reached his destination was probably more necessary.

Tobias sniffed at his offer, but didn't say anything to reject it. "...I'm headed to a nearby cliff I found. There is a tree, and grass, and a long drop from which I can imagine pushing my enemies. I insist on lunching there, and nowhere else."

"Ah, how pleasant. Well, I will carry this for you, and then I will leave, and you may imagine such murder in peace. I'll follow you, if you're ready, then."
He was quiet for most of the walk, until after some time he casually asked, "why are you so angry all the time? Have I asked that already? I feel like there should be some reason for it. I suppose not, but it feels like there should be."

Tobias stopped in his tracks, his shoulders visibly tensing.

"Why am I so angry? Why am I so angry? Why am I so angry?" he repeated, changing his inflection slightly each time. "I'll tell you why I'm so fucking angry--because life isn't fair to begin with, but mine especially sucks. I was dealt the shittiest hand of cards in the deck, capisce?"

"Oh, I believe you. Which cards were you dealt? Judgement? The Emperess? Death?"
His eyes strayed from Tobias, focusing instead on some fixed point ahead of them, some nothingness in the distance. A look of quiet curiosity settled on his features.

"I was dealt the Three of Festering Pile of Shit, I'll have you know," he replied snarkily. "Just look right now--where the fuck are you going? I accept help once and it blows up in my face, like always. Don't know what the fuck I expected."

Maudlin paused, looking at Tobias again. "... Hm. Nevermind it, there were shadows in my visions." He reached into his pocket and withdrew something. It was a short stack of cards, face-down. They were old, worn, the backs a pale blue color. He shuffled them a few times, then withdrew one without looking, and offered it, still face down, to Tobias.
"For you." He grinned.

Tobias gave him a look of annoyed disbelief before taking the card. "Trying to deal me something just as shitty? How infinitely kind."

The image on the card was, somehow, much less worn than the rest of the card. The Hermit.
"Hold on to that, okay? Okay. Anyway, where abouts is our destination?"

"It's not too far, only a few minutes away. But why do I have to keep your shitty card? What if I don't want it?" he whined, but he pocketed it anyway.

"Then don't, it doesn't hurt me any if you do or don't. Either way, it will find its way where it needs to be, I suppose." Maudlin shrugged and pocketed the rest of the cards, carrying on in the direction they'd been going.
He didn't say much in the few remaining minutes, until they reached their destination. "Well, then, I suppose I'll be out of your way. Enjoy your lunch, friend."

"...You came all this way just to leave?" he asked, scrunching up his nose rolling out his blanket. "Well, aren't you a rude sort--you follow me all the way up here, give me a shitty card you don't explain, and then you leave. This is why I hate people--especially vampires. No surprises, just expected disappointment."

He got to work opening the large parasol, a humorous sight due to his size.

Maudlin raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't care for my company? Particularly, because you hate people, and especially vampires?"
He reached out to assist Tobias with the parasol. "Especially one who ruins your new rug, and gives you shitty cards and doesn't explain them, and then leaves. I must say, you've perplexed me. It is hard to do a good deed when the person receiving the kindness is so hard to figure gifts for."

He snorted. "I'm easy to give gifts to--find something that doesn't suck ass. I particularly like money, if you're too stupid to figure out anything material."

"One man's trash, as they say. You're difficult to read, really, and that's something I've spent a number of years doing." He shrugged a little. "At any rate, do you care for my company, or shall I leave?"

"I suppose I don't despise it right now," he admitted. "Besides, leaving would be rude, wouldn't it? I fucking hate rude people." He sat down on his blanket and began rifling through his large picnic basket, producing plates.