"N-no! Y-you...W-why would you kiss me..." He sobbed louder, trying to wipe away his tears. "Y-you're...A t-terrible person, but not as terrible as me..."
"No, no, I don't think you get how AWESOME I am. I'm easily ten times as awesome as your are a failure--mainly because you aren't a failure--but even if you were, my awesome would eat it for breakfast. So relax."