A Particular Day in Autumn

"...it was." He mumbled, embarrassed. "But not anymore..."

"Why not?" he asked, frowning slightly. "Is it because I'm a homosexual, as you so incorrectly put it?"

Mars just shook his head. It was embarrassing and he knew Priestly would never accept his answer.

"...I just want to go to bed."

"How forward, Marsy," he purred, kissing his neck again. "I enjoy moving fast, but are you sure?...You're still so young. I'd hate to spoil you."

He squirmed.

"Th-that's not...what I meant!" He pushed him away and attempted to stand up, but he wasn't exactly in a position to stand up.

He laughed.

"I promise I won't go too far...especially if it's not mutual. That happened to me once. Worst first sexual experience ever."

He shook his head.

"No, no, no, no." He insisted, waving his hands. "No more. No more."

"Why not?" he asked, frowning. "Haven't you been begging me? You were driving me crazy with desire, you know..."

"...I'm sorry." He mumbled guiltily. "I'm really, really sorry..."

He got to his feet, finally.

"...I should just leave. It's all my fault, I'm a terrible person. I should just go, right now."

He wrapped his arms around Mars, smiling.

"But I want you to have my babies."

He pushed him away.

"P-please...don't." He said quietly.

"You don't want them?" he asked, frowning. "I think you'd make a splendid parent."

"O-of course I want children!" He said immediately. "I love kids...B-but...that's unrelated!"

"Don't you want me?" he persisted, gently fondling Mars's chest. He slipped his spare hand to his perfect rear; oh, how he'd been wanting to touch it. Mars had perhaps the finest caboose he had ever laid eyes on.

Mars blushed when Priestly touched his chest, but when he touched his butt he jumped and scurried away.

"I-I have to go to my room now!" He insisted, waving his hands.

"I can help you with that," insisted Priestly, placing a hand firmly on Mars's crotch. "One of my specialties, actually."

Mars shoved his hand away, instead leaving his hand to futily cover his crotch.

"...I'm fine." He said. He was very obviously not fine.

"We don't even have to undress you," he insisted.

"I-I...." His face was red, and he looked so ashamed. "...Please just leave me alone."

He giggled.

"No, I want to touch you. Only a little--you'll allow that, right? You don't even have to date me, just let me cuddle you. Like old times."

He felt his heart break in two. That is, if it hadn't already broken in two. Maybe now it was even in four pieces. It was his fault for letting the words get to him, but it just struck him as wrong.

You don't even have to date me. Mars felt terrible. Of course Priestly didn't care about any of that. He was a filthy homosexual whore and Mars had, for a time, felt like a relationship between them could have worked out. But he was so wrong. First, Priestly cements the fact that he's supposed to grow up and have a family, and now he mentions that they don't even have to be dating in order for Priestly to touch him however he wants.

He felt so terribly betrayed, but beyond that, and most importantly, he felt lonely. He thought he knew Priestly. But he didn't. Not really. Now he felt so alone, as if he had lost the only friend he knew, even though that friend was standing right in front of him.

Mars slapped Priestly's cheek.

"I hate you!" He said angrily. "I hate you so much and I'll always hate you, too! You're a stupid, disgusting, filthy human being and you're the scum of the world!"

He wasn't even entirely sure why he was so angry anymore, he just was.

"I hope you die and I hope you die soon because you're stupid and ugly and I hate you!!" He shouted and when he finished, he turned and he ran to his room.

Priestly followed him calmly, leaning against the doorway.

"Do you ever listen to me?" he sighed. He still smiled, but it was fainter now. "You're such a kid in some ways, Mars...this is why I didn't want to approach you again so soon. Didn't want to take advantage. But oh, God...you're an intoxicating little nix, that's what you are.

"Will you just be quiet and listen for a few seconds? I promise it'll be worth your while. Or even better, ask me some questions--I'd love that."

Mars was sobbing, however, and he hardly had any time between his terrible sobs to say anything. So he stayed quiet, mostly, and listened. He didn't want to, but he couldn't exactly speak in his pathetic position.

He sighed.

"I told you, if I can't have your heart and body fully, all I want is to cuddle you. I want you, you know--I want to hold you and cherish you and make love to you and pray with you, and even adopt a child, because the good Lord smiles on those who care for children in need. I want to be your only one, and I want to grow old with you.

"But if I can't have that, and you won't love me, it's fine. All I want is to cuddle, like old times--no sex, nothing inappropriate, right? I won't do anything unless you want it. But it's natural to want closeness to the person you love, right? Even if it can only be platonic, I want to hold you. We don't have to date--isn't that alright with you?"

No, no, none of it was alright.

Mars hated the idea of both options. He wanted more, but he didn't both at once. It confused him and caused him to want to curl up and sob more. Was he a sinner, just like Priestly? He felt like a sinner. He was probably a sinner.

This made him cry harder, until he felt like he would run out of water in his body to expel from his eyes.

"G...g-go a-away..." He sniveled miserably.