One and a Half Vampires

Asher C. Rosenthal preened his hair, smiling to himself. Sure, circuses weren't the most glamorous of places, but he was sure he could manage. Why, just look at how nice the costumes were.

Still, he hadn't come here to be glamorous. He had a far more important mission: finding others of his kind. He had been lonely for such a long time. Being a vampire was hard, when you had no friends to spend eternity with.

Of course, his work wasn't done yet. It wasn't as if vampires were a dime a dozen, and he didn't expect to find any already in the circus per se--

Asher froze, ears perked. What was that moaning noise coming from behind that caravan. He crept around it, trying to get a better look.

"Hunny, I'm gonna sink my fangs into your neck," a sultry voice whispered. He pressed the other man against the wall, licking his neck and nibbling. "It's gonna feel great, trust me..."

Asher jumped out from behind the caravan, beaming.

"You!" he exclaimed. "You must be a vampire!"

Vasily jumped, shoving the other person away from him. He straightened out his dress shirt, raising an eyebrow. "Err, who are...you?"

The other man grumbled to himself, slipping off to find someone else to have sex with. Like that cute Tobias kid.

"A kindred spirit," he rhapsodized, pointing to his frill-covered chest. "My name is Asher Mimsy Chancellor Rosenthal, and I am a fellow creature of the night--a vampire. My, you have no clue how glad I am to have found you."

He raced forward, kneeling and kissing Vasily's hand. He was so excited, he didn't even care about the grass stains on his burgundy velvet trousers.

Vasily stared at him, wide eyed. A real, live vampire? Awesome! He was going to trick the hell out of him. It would be so much fun. He grinned widely, showing off his large fangs.

"Why, yes!" he hissed, hunching over and pulling his wings over him like a cape. With his Russian accent, it made him sound like a real vampire. "I am a stalker of the night, preying on women and children and, well, men, too."

He laughed.

Asher laughed a loud, horribly obnoxious laugh.

"Arharharhah! Yes, I'm like that too! Though I try to stay discreet--killing people is horribly rude." He stood up and bowed, grinning like an idiot.

"Would you like to...hang out?" He laughed again, realizing it was a pun.

He laughed loudly, pointing to this feet.

"Yes! That is how I sleep, for I am a bat!" he hissed again, laughing at the other man's stupid gullibility.

Already feeling like he had made his first real friend in decades, Asher put his arm around the other man.

"Could you please show me around, my new vampire chum?" he asked excitedly, smiling so wide his fangs showed.

"We gonna, you know, exchange blood later?" he asked, stifling laughs. Wow, what an idiot. "Come, I will show you the camp. Then, my tent."

"Oh," whispered Asher softly. "You mean you want to be...blood brothers?" His voice grew an octave higher with excitement.

"Unless you meant that sexually, of course...my silly vampire chum, already making funny innuendos!" He punched Vasily in the shoulder, not bothering to hold back--he was a fellow vampire, after all.

Vasily shrieked, retracting his poor, poor wings.

"What the hell?!" he shouted loudly, touching his already bruising wing. "Do my wings look like they're strong, or something?! They aren't, don't you dare touch me again, you simpleton!"

"Sorry, sorry!" he exclaimed, reaching for Vasily's wing. "I'm so sorry--are you hurt, do you need a bandage or a cool compress? Let me see."

Vasily hissed at him, pulling away from him.

"No!" he replied, gently feeling his wing with his hand. It was going to be sore, that was for sure.

"Let's get you a cool compress," he said, smiling apologetically. "Do you have a medical tent or something, by any chance? First aid kit?"

He hissed, but he shoved him aside as he stalked back to his caravan. There was no bed, just mesh along the top of the caravan, where he hung from to sleep.

"Press this to my back," he said, pointing to a pillow in the corner of the caravan.

"Why? Are you sleeping now, chum?" he asked, looking confused. "I thought you'd show me around first."

"I'm not sleeping! Does it look like I sleep with a pillow? Just do it, it's a warming pad," he grumbled. "My poor wings..."

"Oh, okay," he said, pressing the pillow to Vasily's back as requested. "Are you sure there isn't a medical tent? Perhaps they'd have something that allows you to be more mobile. I only want the best for my new chum!"

He laughed again, more out of nervousness.

"I hope this doesn't affect our friendship."

"Friendship?" he asked, frowning. "Yeah, sure, whatever. Just...keep pressing it to my wing and we'll be great friends."

He beamed, thrilled.

"Oh, really! I'm so glad--I've never had a real, genuine vampire chum! You don't know what this means to me!" He leaned over and kissed Vasily's cheek, giggling with excitement.

"Why, this is almost too good to be true! To think, I've been lonely all this time when I could've just joined the circus!"

Was this guy for real? He had been joking, sarcastic. Was he stupid or something? He pushed thoughts of guilt back into his head. He'd just get rid of the annoyance, yeah. He'd out-vampire him.

"Okay, that's enough," he replied, stretching his wings. "Let's go get ourselves a drink or two."

"The circus has a bar?" he asked, confused. "I guess this place is fancier than I thought! No wonder the ringmaster dressed so nicely."

He laid the heating pad down gently, smiling.

"I guess I'll fit in here even better than I had thought, huh? What a relief."

"No, the circus doesn't have a bar, it has a Cecil; he hordes alcohol in the bath tent and I've been snitching from his stash for a few weeks now," he replied, grinning widely.

"What's a Cecil?" he asked, blinking.