Christmas Tree Sex (LOL JK)

"Are you mad?" he asked, swallowing.

"No," Alexei said, drinking the rest of his eggnog in one gulp.

"Then why are you just standing there?"

Alexei shook his head.

"I'm going to bed...okay, Beau?"

"Can I come with?" he asked, standing up. He tried to act nonchalant, but he just came of like a miserable puppy.

"If you want, I guess..."

He scooped Alexei up in his arms and sat down on the bed, not letting him go. He buried his face in his hair.

"...Sorry."

"...Beau...we haven't been very good to each other, lately," he said quietly. "...I don't know what to do."

He played with Alexei's hair with one hand, still not looking up.

"...Can I tell you somethin'?"

"...what is it?" he asked quietly.

"...I don't really know any Christmas movies. Just the one--you know, the one where the guy dies, but everyone misses him? Dad used to get drunk and sit and watch that one on Christmas Eve...I never really liked it much."

He squeezed Alexei. "Sorry."

"Beau..." Alexei swallowed back the words. He wanted to say, "we should break up" or "it's over". Not because he thought they should break up, but because the urge to do so was there.

"Merry Christmas to you too," he said, nuzzling him.

"...let's cuddle," Alexei replied, wishing he could smile.

He nodded and placed Alexei on the bed. Then he leaned over and kissed him on the mouth, long and hard.

"...Love you."

"...I love you, too," Alexei replied, and he wanted to cry. Instead, he kissed Beau.

Beau climbed on top of him and held him tight, kissing back passionately. Feeling a little bold and very eager to please, he licked Alexei's lips.

Instead of his usual reaction, Alexei turned away.

Beau pulled away completely, his heart in his throat.

"I...I'm so sorry," he mumbled.

Alexei wanted to throw up. What was wrong with him? He wanted to talk, but he couldn't find the words. He really couldn't do anything right.

"I'm going to sleep..." he didn't bother changing out of his clothes as he pulled the blankets over himself.

Beau got off of the bed and walked back to the living room without another word; he was too ashamed. He hadn't been able to do anything right since he and Alexei had gotten back together.

-x-

Alexei woke up feeling shame deep in his stomach. As soon as he got to the bathroom, he threw up. He closed the bar and decided to take the day off, making himself cheer up.

Beau was still on the sofa, curled up so he could fit. He had fallen asleep without a blanket, and he shivered every so often.

Alexei did not touch him, instead letting him sleep. He didn't think Beau would like it very much if he woke him up, considering the events last night. So, he cleaned up the house a bit, busied himself. Pretended everything was normal.

Beau woke up eventually, almost falling off the couch as he stretched. He glanced at Alexei for only a second, far too guilty to make eye contact.