The Ambassadors From Germany and Britain Are Having An Affair: NOT CRAP CHARACTERIZATION OF WILHELM EDITION

He raised a hand to stop him so that he could write his response.

I honestly don't care about your sexuality. But, I am in dire need of your help. There is no way around that. You said you needed a way to relieve stress; I offered one to you. I am not suggesting anything about you. I simply want to find a way for both of our desires to be satisfied.

"But I want nothing from you," he insisted.

He sighed.

...Are you entirely sure about this? He pressed slightly harder as he wrote this time.

He snorted.

"Unless you know of a good brothel."

...I have a sister who would like you. He offered, unable to stop himself from smiling a knowing smile. He liked Eadric, but he liked Germany more, and this was for the good of Germany.

He twitched visibly.

"...She's not in the house right now, is she?"

Seeing his obvious discomfort, Wilhelm smiled a bit wider.

Else would be very interested in you; you're her type. She's not that much younger than you, and I know she would enjoy spending time with you. He wrote, obviously avoiding answering Eadric's question.

"If she comes anywhere within twenty feet of me, you can forget asking for my help," he replied very seriously.

He laughed, leaning back in his chair, confidence oozing off of him. He was in control once again.

I thought you wanted my help in finding someone to help you with a certain sexual problem of yours. But, the moment I mention a willing woman, you suddenly seem less...interested.

It was quite obvious what Wilhelm was insinuating as he slid the paper back over to Eadric.

He laughed hollowly.

"Of course, that's why it's a problem in the first place--I despise women as a breed. It makes sleeping with one quite difficult. They normally prefer dates before sex, you see, but I can't stand any amount of their nattering."

Wilhelm smiled widely.

I will put a stop to the rumors about you if you agree to help me. He offered.

"Let them bitch," he replied flatly. "The words of lesser men and air-headed women concerns me not."

Then allow me to help you in another way. He offered, instead. I will speak with my sister, and see if she is willing to help you with your problem. If you would like, that is. I'm sure we can work something else out.

"I am not going to use a prominent political figure's younger sister as a sex toy," he replied evasively.

Wilhelm smiled to himself, writing his next sentences with an amused expression.

Oh, trust me, she will be much more enthusiastic about it than you. Besides, Else is able to take care of herself.

Before he even handed the paper to Eadric, a voice from downstairs yelled in German, "Brother? Are you home?"

Eadric flinched.

"...I am leaving. Now. Consider your proposal rejected for the moment, Ambassador."

Wilhelm smiled wider, because he knew that Else would find Eadric before Eadric ever had a chance of leaving.

He quickly wrote, If you leave now, she will find you. Stay here and I promise she won't come near you.

He glared at Wilhelm.'

"...My answer depends on whether or not you can ensure I will receive some bloody tea within the next half hour."

"Ja." He replied, bowing slightly before he gestured for Eadric to wait just a moment.

"Then I will stay," he said, obviously less than pleased with his current situation.

Wilhelm was chuckling as he left.

About twenty minutes later, he returned alone, holding a tray with a teapot and cups.

"I'll pour for myself--I'm not sure I still trust you."

He shrugged and set the tray down on the table.

He sat back down as well, watching Eadric.

Eadric poured himself some tea, nursing the teacup without drinking from it.

"So. We are still at an impasse, Ambassador."

He nodded and went back to writing.

That we are. I spoke with my sister. She has left for the night, to a friends house.