Love And Life And Demon Hunting

"Sorry, just Mars, then," he said, starting the engine. "And relax--I brought them with me, I just didn't want to get them wet and dirty."

"No, you can't call me Mars, either." He said sternly. "My name is 'Cyprus Gray', and I expect you to call me that."

"But nicknames are my thing, Marsy," he said with a laugh. "Now buckle up so you don't die--that would be tragic."

"What." He stated, confused again. Somewhat frantically, he put on his seatbelt. "Are you trying to imply you're a bad driver?"

"No," he said, sounding surprised. "Only that seat belts ensure added safety during car accidents--I'm sorry, were you not familiar with that factoid? I apologize--Oregon is so strange."

He glowered at him.

"Be quiet, you're a terrible person." He huffed, obviously embarrassed.

"Ah, I've made a bad impression already? I wish I could say that was a record." He laughed. "What was it, the tattoos? I can put on a shirt."

"Tattoos?" He frowned. "No. Well, yes. But that's among other, more important things. I still don't believe you're a priest."

"Would you like to see my business cards? My Bible, perhaps? Of course, I'm willing to show you whatever you'd like to see." He didn't even glance at Father Gray, but his voice was saturated with dirty implications.

"...Excuse me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. "What are you insinuating?"

"That I'd love if you'd believe that I'm a priest," he said innocently. "Why, would you like me to insinuate something else as well?"

"No. Of course not, that's...untoward." He frowned deeply. "But fine, if you insist, then I believe you're a priest."

Of course he didn't, but that was another matter.

He smiled to himself.

"Are you a virgin, Father Mars?"

Mars felt his face turn very, very red.

"E-excuse me?? I don't think that's a proper topic of discussion between priests!"

He laughed.

"We listen to the confessionals--I would imagine no subject is taboo. It's not as if we are gossips."

"I don't care; that's too personal for my tastes, Mister..." He paused suddenly. "...what even is your name?"

"I didn't tell you," he replied. "How about we trade information?"

"How about I'll tell you where the diner is, if you tell me your name." He deadpanned.

"Excellent. But only if you'll trade your sexual orientation and history for mine."

"Fine." He said reluctantly. He had no plans of actually being truthful, but that was fine.

"My name is Priestly," he said, adjusting his rear-view mirror. "I'm neither heterosexual nor homosexual, and I lost my virginity years ago."

"The diner is on the main street, it's called 'Auntie's'." He conceded. "And my sexual orientation, as well as the status of my virginity, is absolutely none of your business."

"Ah, you want more details?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows at the road.

"Of course not! I want you to stop asking me about personal things! We've only just met, and besides that, I think you're...strange." He insisted, looking away from him.

"Strange in a good way?" he asked, amused. "I'll have you know that I'm single, too--never been married. Always wanted to, haven't had time."