An Obligatory Episode

"I hear this demon is quite the trickster," said Priestly, turning down a side street. "At least, I believe it's a demon. Known for playing pranks, this guy--I'm sure we'll have no problem, dispelling him, though." He winked cheesily at Mars; the gesture seemed out of place, as he was wearing a nice suit and his hair was washed and slicked back. He looked quite respectable.

"Act like how you're dressed." He replied, hitting Priestly on the stomach. "But yes, we shouldn't have a problem. Seems routine to me."

"Clothes don't make the man, Mars," he said, frowning. "Men are defined by actions--which is why I'm proud of the men we are. Now, how much should we charge? I heard the lady who owns the hotel is rich. Five grand, perhaps?"

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Just because she's rich doesn't mean we should over charge her." He chastised. "We'll just let her be generous without prodding."

"Yes, but dropping numbers early on is good," he said eagerly. "Puts the idea in their mind."

"Stop! Stop being such a greedy jerk and just get the job done." He replied, pouting slightly. "Now let's just get the job done!"

"After you, baby," he said, batting his eyelashes as he parked the car. "You wanna do the talking, or should I?"

"I will, because you'll be a huge jerk if you do!" He insisted. "So I'll be the nice courteous one, and you can be the quiet one."

He grinned, patting Mars on the shoulder.

"Okay, great plan--then tonight I'll be the sexy one and you'll be the sexier one." He leaned over to kiss Mars, grabbing his hand.

He freaked out and barely managed to evade him.

"STOP IT! Leave me alone!" He snapped.

"Come onnnn," he pleaded, waggling his eyebrows. "Good luck kiss. Just one. You'll regret it if you don't."

He frowned deeper.

"...No." He insisted, but he stopped struggling.

He leaned closer, unbuckling his seat belt so he could reach.

"That's not what you said last night," he purred.

He frowned deeply, feeling his cheeks flush a deep red.

"I hate you!" He shouted, slapping Priestly on the back of the head and promptly getting out of the car.

Priestly followed him, locking the doors.

"Come on, Mars--you'll regret it!" he called playfully.

"You'll regret if you kiss me!" He snapped, crossing his arms. "Now shut up and stop messing around, we have work to do."

Priestly shrugged and stood less than a foot behind Mars. He gingerly groped his ass.

"Lead the way, dear~" he chuckled.

He elbowed Priestly.

"I hate you." He growled, hurrying inside.

Priestly followed him into the lobby, keeping quiet as promised. The room was surprisingly large; chairs were lined up against one wall, and a tired-looking lady stood at the front desk, typing on a computer. When she looked up, she smiled.

"Ah, how may I help you? Do the two of you need a room?"

"Actually, we have an appointment to talk to the owner." He replied, smiling at her.

"Oh!" she said, her face lighting up. "You two must be the, ahem, special exterminators I called in? Excellent, excellent--I swear, living with this, this thing around...it wears on a person. This way, this way." She walked around the desk and up the first few steps, gesturing for them to follow. Priestly gave Mars's ass an inconspicuous pat.

Mars not very inconspicuously elbowed Priestly in the ribs. Again.

"Yes, I can imagine. But don't worry, we'll take care of it, no problem."

"...Did you just hit your partner?" she asked, turning around and frowning. She tucked a strand of greying brown hair behind her ear, pushing her glasses up to hold it in place. "If...if there's something wrong, maybe I should hire someone else."

Priestly stepped out from behind Mars, beaming. "Don't you worry a hair on your sweet little head, madam--I merely suggested to my partner here that we had forgotten to properly introduce ourselves, and he elbowed me out of embarrassment. He's always been the violent one, I'm afraid. He's, er, been in an institution, if you get my meaning." He grimaced exaggeratedly.

"In any case, I'm Father Priestly and this is Father Mars. I'm a nice man who enjoys walks on the beach and good company, and Mars here eats pickles without chewing."

The woman nodded slowly, still looking slightly uncomfortable. "...I'm MaryAlice Thornton. I own this place, though you already know that--I mean, we spoke on the phone." She coughed lightly. "Nice to, um, meet you in person, both of you."

There was a moment of awkward silence before she awkwardly motioned to the top of the stairs. "We should...it's, um, up there."

Priestly nodded brightly, linking his arm with Mars's and pulling him up the stairs behind Mrs. Thornton.

Mars was rather cross with the result, but he swallowed down his anger. He'd chew Priestly out about it later, he decided. Seriously, an institution? He furrowed his eyebrows deeper just thinking about it. It was a wonder people ever hired them.

He advanced up the stairs, attempting to unlink his arm with Priestly's. He shot him glares, and finally, he whispered angrily, "Let go."

They were here on business; it was no time for Priestly to be messing around.

Priestly pretended not to hear him until they reached the top.

"Now, Mary--"

"That's Ms. Thornton to you," she corrected, adjusting her glasses again. "And his room is number 5. I would go in with you, but...just, take care of him. It should be unlocked." She chewed her fingernail, watching them with obvious anxiety.

Priestly nodded, bowing his head. "Yes, ma'am--I'm sure it'll be easy. Marsy here is quite the brawler. You should relax, make yourself a cup of tea while we handle it.

"Now, come along, Father Mars--we have work to do," he said, enunciating his words very carefully. He pulled Mars down the hall, waving reassuringly at Ms. Thornton. When she had disappeared back down the stairs, he whispered in Mars's ear.

"What do you think? She looked like she was good for at least five grand to get rid of this thing--it's been weighing on the poor dear's heart, she's so stressed."