When Frederich Met Hayden

"...She did?"

"It's a long story, but yes, yes she did." His grip on Frederich's should tightened. "It was those goddamn tits, I swear it...that was all she had on me!"

"...I'm pretty sure she also had other things. Like fame."

He shot him a look that could kill.

"Of course she did, because of her fucking tits!!"

Frederich just looked confused.

"...I should go and wait for the bus."

"No, you should come with me," he insisted, not letting go. "You need to live."

"...come with you? Where?"

"You'll see," he said, though he honestly had no clue where he was going. "So, tell me, boy, where are we--Hollywood, the land of my dreams? New York? They have Broadway, I can live with Broadway."

"...We're in Oregon." He replied simply.

He twitched.

"...Where the blazes is that?"

He thought for a second then replied, "next to Washington and and Idaho and California."

"Yes, but who gives a rip?!" he shouted. "There's nothing important here, or I would've heard of it!"

Frederich shrugged.

"Why are you here, then?"

"Certainly not because I want to be!" He raised his hand to smack Frederich again, but thought better of it. "Ever since I died, I've been completely lost--no matter how far I wander, I can never seem to get where I'm going."

Frederich chuckled softly.

"That must be terrible."

He tugged on Frederich's ear.

"Little brat--learn some manners, would you?! Who the hell does your mom think she is?"

Frederich said quietly, "She's dying."

He nodded, clearing his throat.

"That explains it, then...so she never taught you to be polite to your elders, or not to interrupt dramatic monologues, or...to even ask a stranger for their name?"

"...she didn't do so well after father died." He replied quietly.

He rolled his eyes.

"Kid, you need me; maybe that's why I didn't wind up in someplace worth a damn."

Frederich frowned.

"Please don't tell me you're not going to leave me alone."

He shot Frederich a glare.

"Why, would you rather be stuck with a ghostly Marilyn Monroe and her perfect ectoplasmic tits?!"

"I'd rather be stuck with no one, thank you very much..."

"Well too bad--instead of no one, you get fabulous." He patted Frederich on the back. "You grow to love it."

Frederich sighed heavily.

"...I doubt it."