Androids Are Totally More Than Just Sex Bots

"Yes, it's, uhm, normal protocol!" He insisted.

What was he doing?! Cas didn't even know anymore. It was kind of worrying, even for him.

"...Do you want to do it?" he asked seriously, not meeting Caspian's eyes. "You have your AI settings on--tell me your decision."

"...I'm not supposed...to have an opinion." He replied insistently, as a way of skirting around it.

"I want you to," he said adamantly. "You also have to do what I say--so use your AI and think."

"...if I say yes, will...you get rid of me?" He asked, suddenly completely unwilling to admit to anything. "Or...get me reprogrammed?"

"I want you to tell me your honest opinion, and then act on it," he said seriously. "That's all I require of you."

He caressed Caspian's face, frowning slightly. "You honestly think I'd get rid of you, Cas? You're my best friend. I'm never going to leave you."

"...this reaction. It's not programmed. It's wrong. I...I am sorry my personal feelings are affecting my judgement." He swallowed. "I l...love you."

He smiled. Was this what had been weighing on Caspian's processing capabilities? The thought was almost humorous.

"Of course, Cas--I love you too," he said honestly. After all, Caspian was his best friend in the whole world.

"You...are not just joking? To trick me into being dismantled?" He asked, completely horrified and worried about the prospect. "I'm...malfunctioning."

Gideon chuckled and squeezed Cas in his arms. "I'll only get you checked out if you think you need it. You have scanners capable of detecting component malfunctions, right? If you really think you're fine, we won't do anything. You're probably just confused because your AI is working."

He laughed and patted him on the back reassuringly. "What would I do without you, anyway? I don't even remember what life was like before I got you, but it must have sucked."

"...then we can sleep together?" He asked suddenly, grinning devilishly. "Right? That's what you mean, right? I mean, it's part of your...education. I'm just going to help you learn."

He smiled widely.

"We sleep together every night," he said, confused. "Of course we can." The idea of Caspian suggesting something sexual was preposterous, after all; in addition to being his childhood friend, he was also an android. What kind of sick fuck would outfit a companion robot with sexual protocols? It was nonsense. At least, Gideon tried to convince himself it was.

Caspian swallowed, looking rather crestfallen.

"Oh...yes, that's what I meant." He said, smiling awkwardly. So much for the whole 'not being able to lie' thing.

Gideon's frown deepened.

"...Caspian, if you meant something else, please say it. I won't judge you. Please be honest with me, or I will become fairly cross with you." He crossed his arms, trying to look serious; instead, he just came off as pouty.

"It's just...an error in my transmission." He replied, looking nervous again. "I'm certain. It's just a slight malfunction. I'll get over it, within a few days. Nothing to worry you about."

He laughed.

"I can make you more if you're still hungry."

He sighed.

"...Caspian, is this 'the talk'?" he asked, making his way back to his seat. "If it is, I don't mind. Do whatever you have to, I suppose--this is an educational program, yes?" His ears turned pink, but he tried to remain as dignified as possible.

"...I'm not sure I'm allowed." He replied, still unwilling to admit to anything. "What I mean is... my operating guide is telling me that, in order to show you how sex works, I'm supposed to give you a live demonstration."

He laughed incredibly nervously. "But that must be a simple glitch in my programming, you see."

"Why would your operating guide be glitching?" he asked. "Have you been feeling strange lately? Maybe we should get you looked at. It's no problem, Caspian."

"Well, it's just silly. I mean, why would you want to have sex with your android." He laughed again, completely without heart.

"Some people do, don't they?" he said, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"...Look, Caspian, I'll call a shop and have you examined if you really want. I suppose the warrant on your battery is almost up--perhaps we just need to replace it."

"...they do?" He asked. "You mean it?"

He completely ignored the other part, fully aware his battery was functioning completely fine.

"Yes, of course," he said, looking somewhat awkward. "You didn't know that? It's a fairly common theme in dramas--kind of uncanny, but a part of life."

"It's...uncanny? It's unnatural?" He asked, frowning deeply. "Oh...I...never mind."

He smiled painfully. "Should I make you some dinner? What would you like?"

Gideon shook his head, frowning.

"No, unnatural isn't the word...just, odd. Like, you wouldn't expect it. I have nothing against those who do it, though--as long as they're happy, I suppose? Isn't that what it's about?"

He chuckled awkwardly, toying with his hair. "I'm sorry, is this awkward--me speaking about this in front of you? I'd hate to make you feel uncomfortable. Just know I don't plan to forcibly defile you, or anything like that--we're equals, right? You're my best friend, android or not."

"We're...best friends." He smiled, but now it was even more pained. "Of course. What would you like for dinner?"

He turned back to his chopping bored, fingering the tomato. "How do BLTs sound?"