That One Time Lazarus Fell in Love with a Hunter

"Fine. I'll let you pick something else," he said, flopping onto the bed. "But make it good. If I don't like it, we go with my plan, okay?"

Wait. He wanted him to choose? Like he knew about faggot stuff! In hindsight, a little bit of research would really be helping.

Swallowing nervously, Blade decided he might as well strip all the way out of his clothes, which were just plain hard to move in at this point. That was when he remembered he had tattoos. He pulled his pants back up, hoping Lazarus didn't get a good look.

"...uhm." he had no idea what to do now.

Lazarus snorted.

"Babe, were those tattoos? Don't tell me you're embarrassed." He grinned, his fangs in plain view. "Don't make me rip your clothes off, I will do it."

It wasn't that Blade was embarrassed of his tattoos, but more of the fact that they didn't exactly scream "gay". They were both of pin-up women, and while they were fantastically done, he wasn't sure Lazarus would enjoy seeing them.

"These pants are expensive, don't you dare rip them!" he snapped.

"Then take them off and let me fuck you, if you aren't going to do anything," he snorted, flipping his hair. "Come on, babe, you're lovely, but I prefer if I can touch you."

Blade swallowed roughly.

"...f-fine," he replied, slipping his pants off. He quickly moved his hands over his thighs. "G-go ahead."

"You shy?" asked Lazarus, reaching for the lube he kept conveniently stashed beneath his pillows. He squirted a small dollop onto his fingers and promptly stuck them inside of Blade.

"Don't worry, hun, I'll go easy on you, okay? I like you."

He screamed. And it wasn't a manly scream (which he would later insist it was), but a very, very high pitched, womanly shriek.

"Wh-what, what, what...?!" he swallowed roughly, attempting to ignore what was one of the most strange, uncomfortable sensations he had ever felt in his entire life.

"...Those're my fingers," said Lazarus, trying to hold back laughter. God, was this guy a virgin or what? "Haven't you done this before? Don't tell me I'm popping your cherry right now."

Blade grew silent. He wanted to deny it, but...it was kind of difficult to when it was very true.

"...maybe," he said quietly.

He laughed loudly, then kissed Blade's shoulders and cheeks.

"Aww, babe--you should've said something. I'll make this extra good, alright? Jesus, I thought you said you had been with men before--I was expecting someone loose."

"...fine," he grumbled, frowning. "...I guess."

"How does it feel?" he whispered in his ear, grinning. "Should I put in another finger, baby?"

"No!" he snapped, gritting his teeth. "I'm a fucking human, remember?!"

"Humans can still have fun," he chuckled, kissing him. "Here, I'll be more gentle. Does your ass hurt already? It's not on purpose, babe, you just have to get used to it--it stings at first, I'm told." He winked. "Not that I would know first-hand."

He clenched his teeth. Blade was certain, now, that he would kill Lazarus. And it would be messy, and painful.

"How're you feeling?" he pressed. "Does it at least hurt less? or do you need some more time?"

"Just...get it over with," he grumbled.

"As you wish, baby," he purred, removing his fingers. "You're clean, aren't you? Virginal and all."

"I don't know! Does it look like I would know?!" he snapped nervously, as his stomach churned.

"I meant STDs," he laughed, kissing him again. "You ready for the best night of your life?"

"I doubt this is going to be...the best night of my life," he grumbled.

"Oh come on, babe, lighten up," he teased. With that, he guided himself into Blade with his hand and began thrusting slowly, gently.

"You've gotta relax now, okay? Don't wanna break you."

He bit his lip, gasping loudly. This was not pleasant. It was not. He did not like it, one bit. He tried to relax, but he couldn't.

He ran a hand over Blade's nipples, pressing close to him.

"Come on, babe, this won't be easy if you're so tense."