Mars and Priestly's Big Fat Gay Wedding

"Are you sure I shouldn't have gone with the dress?" Priestly teased Mars, squeezing his ass as they walked up the marble steps of the retreat. "I think I'd make a fine wife, don't you?"

Instead of a dress, he wore a classy, tight-fitting sweater and jeans. He looked like average suburban husband material, for once.

Mars hated Priestly, but he looked so damn good in those clothes. He looked his age, and very much like an older husband. In fact, much to Mars's extreme embarrassment, he found scenarios like this were not far from his mind at any given moment. He found he enjoyed the idea of getting married, settling down, and being, well, normal. But Priestly's comment abruptly reminded him that there was nothing normal about their relationship.

"Shut up," he replied instantly. "And no. You'd make a terrible spouse."

Mars crossed his arms, already wanting out of the attire he wore. It made him look old, he thought. Like his father, but not in the way he wanted. A plain white dress shirt over a t-shirt and tight fitting jeans with loafers. On his father, it had looked gentlemanly. Mars just looked like a child playing dress-up.

He brought Mars's hand to his lips and stopped walking.

"Are you so sure about that? I can prove otherwise, if you like. I'm not really the settling down type, sure, but that doesn't mean I couldn't be if I wanted to."

He tightened his hold on Mars, pulling him closer.

"Go on--tell me your fantasies, Mars. What do you want from your big, bad husband?"

Mars pulled away from him, swallowing nervously. He hoped Priestly didn't notice how hot he felt.

"I'm positive that you're a terrible spouse," he replied angrily. "And I don't have any immoral 'fantasies' because I'm not you.

"Can we just act like we're married and get this over with?"

"But if I were married, I'd fuck my spouse silly," he teased, kissing him on the cheek. "As much as they wanted. And you're my spouse today."

"Lucky for me, then, that we aren't actually married," he managed to say, though he knew it was not the best lie he'd ever told. His face felt impossibly hot. He wanted to lay down, somewhere far away from Priestly. He wanted a cold shower.

"Whoo, get a room, why don'tcha! Do you two even need to be here? Just kidding, you already paid for the full weekend.

"Nice to meet you, I'll be your host and counselor. My name's Dr. Geiger--please, call me Carl."

The bald man standing before them clutched a clipboard to his chest, extending a hand for them to shake. When neither of them took it, he slicked back his lack of hair in an attempt to make it seem natural. It didn't help.

"Ahem, so, you two are Mr. and Mr...?"

"Priestly," replied Priestly, beaming. "Giles and Mars Priestly."

Mars bit his tongue, waiting for the unpleasant little man to be done with it and just show them to their room. He fully intended to take his shower.

"Ah, perfect!" he said, adjusting his glasses. "Let me show you two lucky gentlemen to your room. And let me assure you, we don't discriminate here--why I, personally, am very fond of homosexuals."

Priestly just nodded and smiled, though he kept his hand on Mars's hip all the way to their room.

"You two gentlemen play nice now!" he said, awkwardly patting Priestly on the pecs before leaving.

Once they were alone, Priestly smiled hungrily at Mars.

"Ready to play house?" he teased.

Mars narrowed his eyes.

"Don't look at me like that," he snapped. He unbuttoned his shirt and then pulled both of them off. He tossed them in the corner, heading for the bathroom.

"I'm showering. And I'm locking the door."

"I don't mind being locked in with you," replied Priestly, wrapping his arms around him. He buried his face in his shoulder.

"Why don't you want to have fun with this? It's not every day you get to step into the role of a married couple. It might be nice."

As much as Mars enjoyed the casual contact, he tried not to with little success. Sighing, he placed his hands on Priestly's waist.

"If we're playing a married couple, that's all it is. Play. Don't forget that," he insisted. "Now I'm going to shower, and you aren't coming with."

"If I'd shower with a one-night stand, I'd certainly shower with my spouse," he replied, standing in the doorway. "Why not? We've done it before."

He kissed him on the shoulder and batted his eyelashes at him.

"I told you, I don't like it," he replied, pushing awày from Priestly. "Besides, you obviously don't know how to be in a relationship or you'd be married by now."

"I told you," he replied, "I'm not the settling down type. If I wanted to marry, I'd do it...it's just not an urge I've had." He shrugged. "I had a hard enough time buying a house."

"So you have commitment issues. You can't," he replied angrily, feeling a surge of spitefulness.

"I'm perfectly capable of commitment, I just don't have anything I want to commit to," he replied, shrugging. "Except perhaps, this."

He ran his hands over Mars's bare back.

"I really love doing this. So won't you humor me?"

Suddenly, Mars violently shoved Priestly away.

"Don't." He furrowed his eyebrows. "Get out of my way."

"Do you not feel the same about this job?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Don't you also love hunting?"

"Of course I don't!" he snapped. "This is the last thing in the world I want to be doing."

Mars groaned and moved to the balcony of their room, shoving open the doors and walking out into the cool air. He searched his pockets for his cigarettes, lighting one up.

"Then maybe you should stop," he said, shrugging. "If your heart's not in it, you might make mistakes--you might get hurt. I don't like the idea."

"If you knew...you wouldn't be counseling me to stop," he spat, clenching his fists. He used his free hand to let his hair from it's ponytail, allowing it to fall onto his shoulders and back. He ran his hands through his hair, exhaling smoke from his mouth. "You don't get it, alright?"

"Maybe I don't," he replied, taking the cigarette from his hand. "But you're my responsibility.

"For as long as we travel together, we're hunting partners--I swore to you that I'd have your back, and I'm going to keep that promise."

He held the cigarette above Mars's head and leaned nonchalantly against the railing.

"I'm not going to let you get killed, alright? So if there's something eating you, if this is really so unpleasant..." He stared at the cigarette before handing it back. "Let me help you."

Mars took a long drag on the cigarette once he had it back, exhaling smoke slowly. For a while, he didn't say anything.

"...you can't help me. Nobody can."

He leaned close and kissed him on the mouth.

"Try me."