シーザー、愛してる!!

This was the fifteenth time that week that he had ended up on his back, staring up at the triumphant face of Caesar Zeppeli. Joseph had had enough of it. He was going to get back at him, somehow, do something to throw him off. It wasn't fair that he couldn't win, and if he couldn't win fair and square then he would fight dirty. It wasn't like he had never fought dirty in his life before.

He knocked on Caesar's door after training was over for the day. He had the perfect idea. It was bound to, at the very least, freak him out. It would be enough to secure his triumphant the next day, he was sure.

After several minutes, Caesar answered the door, his bare, sweaty chest glistening.

"Oh, Joseph. Can I help you?" he asked. He looked mildly annoyed as he leaned against the doorframe; he kept the door partially closed, so as not to reveal the contents of his room. "I was doing something."

Joseph didn't quite register all of the signs until the words were already out of his mouth.

"Caesar, we need to talk about something important," he said in the most earnest, genuine tone he could muster. It was directly after the words had left his mouth that he put two and two together.

He kept stonefaced, as if he hadn't realized what was going on. He hoped Caesar agreed or else he would be facing yet another defeat the next day.

He glanced back inside, then nodded.

"Fine, fine--make it quick, yes?"

Yes! Caesar had agreed! Except...he glanced around the hallway. Suzi Q or Lisa Lisa might be around and he wasn't about to spout out sappy bullshit in front of either of them. Worse, Lisa Lisa might spot is ploy and kick his ass.

"It's...personal, so uh, we have to do it in private," Joseph insisted, frantically waving his hands to illustrate. "But it's super important, trust me!"

Stupid Caesar, just let him into the room.

"And where do you suggest we go?" he asked, already having a bad feeling. Pulling out of a girl to answer the door was bad enough; asking her to leave directly afterward was too cruel.

"Why can't we go into your room?" Joseph asked, raising an eyebrow. He moved to shove the door open and barge in.

Caesar moved to stop him, but Joseph was to quick. He sighed deeply, face-palming.

On his bed was a young woman, legs splayed, her form haphazardly covered by a blanket. She squealed and pulled it higher over her breasts as Joseph entered the room.

Joseph paused. He had assumed Caesar was just masturbating. How the hell had he snuck a chick in here?!

Suddenly, he turned to Caesar with an incredulous expression on his face. "How could you? I thought you said you weren't going to do this sort of thing anymore? Aren't we in a relationship?" he had to hold back a mischievous grin from his lips.

This situation could work, too. He'd just force the chick to get the hell out of here and that would surely knock Caesar off of his game.

Caesar rolled his eyes, shooting Joseph a glare.

"I'm sorry, Signorina--I must ask you to leave. It appears I have an...unexpected visitor."

The woman glared at Caesar as she hastily pulled on her clothes and stormed out of the room, clinging to her last shreds of dignity.

Caesar groaned. "What the hell was that for, JoJo? It's not bad enough that you interrupt me, you also have to ruin my chances with her completely?"

Joseph finally allowed himself a wide, shit eating grin.

"Just a little well-deserved revenge," he replied smugly. It felt incredibly satisfying.

"The only person you really offended was her--is it really revenge if I can find another one?"

Despite his annoyance, Caesar uncorked the wine he had set down next to a pair of a glasses and poured some for each of them, handing Joseph a glass.

"Now, what was it that was so important?"

Joseph greedily snatched his glass, drinking it down. If nothing else, Caesar had great taste in food and especially alcohol. He might be a douchebag, but he had good enough tastes that Joseph would willingly put up with it.

Though he had thought he might abandon his initial plan, as he sat down, it still seemed like a viable idea. After all, Caesar only seemed mildly annoyed. He needed him to be completely off his game.

Joseph sank into one of the chairs, carelessly sloshing the wine around as he spoke. "So...I'll just say it."

He leaned over the table, looking Caesar dead in the eyes.

"I think I love you."

"Don't just chug the wine--" Caesar started, but he paused when he heard Joseph's words.

"...Say that again?" he said, quietly sipping his wine. He stared at the deep red contents of his glass, attempting a stoic expression to mask his inner flusteredness.

"Do I have to?" he replied, glancing away from Caesar but sneaking glances. This was actually more embarrassing than he'd initially thought. He hoped he was smoother when he made an actual confession. "I mean, I just realized it a few days ago...I was just jealous of that woman."

He glanced as Caesar, but his expression was unreadable. Was he falling for it? He held his breath, waiting for a response.

It was then that Caesar heard it in his voice--Joseph wasn't serious. He couldn't be. His grip tightened dangerously on his wine glass; after all, when had Joseph ever been serious about anything?

He took another sip, thinking carefully about his response. Then he smiled.

"Why didn't you say something sooner? I accept your confession."

Joseph stared at him, mouth agape, for a good few seconds. Then he quickly shut it. This was not going according to plan whatsoever. What Caesar serious? ...No, Caesar must have realized his plan and was just messing with him. But not even Caesar could beat him at this game. Joseph would just have to up the stakes.

"In that case, why don't you kiss me?" Joseph bit back a triumphant laugh as he pointed to his lips.

"Of course," he said, flashing him his most charming smile. With no small amount of satisfaction, he pulled Joseph close and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. Joseph didn't taste like a woman; he smelled more of aftershave than perfume, and his lips were bare of any kind of makeup. Much to his own surprise, Caesar still found it pleasant.

Joseph pulled back and covered his mouth out of pure surprise. Caesar had actually kissed him. He could feel his cheeks burning a deep red. Joseph had barely even kissed that many women, and now he had kissed a man. He tried to bury the sensation stirring in his stomach. He tried to immediately erase the feeling from his lips. Caesar had surprisingly soft lips given he fact that he was a man. All in all, it was surprisingly similar to kissing a woman, save for the fact that Caesar distinctly smelled of expensive cologne.

"You actually kissed me..." he mumbled behind his hand. He quickly removed them and put a fake smile on. "G-great, well, I'm convinced, so, uh, see you tomorrow."

He stood up, hoping to make a quick exit.

"When's our first date?" he asked, resting a hand on Joseph's thigh. "It would be improper to go any further without a date, don't you think? That's what you do with a lady you care about--not that you would know, JoJo."

"Date...right," he ran a hand through his hair. He swallowed and composed himself. He wanted to escape the situation, but his plan had only succeeded in flustering him thus far. He would make Caesar regret this ruse.

"Why not tonight?" he said, making sure to make eye contact with Caesar as he rested his hand over Caesar's.

"That eager, huh?" he asked, irked by his persistence. "...Fine. Put on something nice and meet me here in half an hour. I have to get...cleaned up."

Joseph grinned.

"Of course."

Though Caesar said half an hour, Joseph took longer than that. He had forgotten how annoying it was to put on a suit. Besides just that he had brushed his hair and shaved and put on cologne. He was going to woo the shit out of Caesar and make him as uncomfortable as possible. To be honest, he wasn't sure how far he was willing to go for this stupid ruse but if Caesar wanted to test him, he would go as far as Caesar would.

About an hour later he finally showed up, knocking on Caesar's door. He was late, but he just shrugged it off. He had to look his best.

Caesar answered the door in a fancy, well-fitting suit. He smelled of sweet cologne.

"Are you ready for dinner?" he asked politely. "It only took you over an hour to get here--I'm assuming you got lost again."

Joseph gritted his teeth.

"You're the one who told me to dress nicely," he replied, attempting to shove the blame to Caesar. If he hadn't forgotten how to tie a tie he would've probably been on time, he figured. "Anyway, what's for dinner? I'm starving."