I Don't Like You At All, Caesar-Chan!!

Joseph had the ultimate revenge for Caesar. He hadn't slept for days, each night since they'd started to live at Lisa Lisa's manor. He was so sick of hearing people moaning "Caesar, oh, Caesar" that if he had to hear it one more time he would explode.

Therefore, he'd perfected the ultimate plan. He would dress as a woman and he would seduce the stupid Caesar and teach him not to be such a goddamn playboy.

"Oh, oh, Caesar~" Joseph was dressed in a gaudy pink dress among other things, such as excess make up. He waved his hands at Caesar, who was already flocked by women. He shoved them out of the way and clung to Caesar's arm. "I've been looking for you everywhere, it's time for our date, I sent you that love letter~"

He grinned. He had set up a date by sending Caesar a love letter telling him to meet at this particular fountain at this particular time.

Caesar frowned deeply. What the hell was Joseph doing in a dress?

"Love letter?..." he asked, not wanting to ruin Joseph's ruse if this was important.

Joseph grabbed him and pulled him towards a nearby restaurant.

"Oh stop playing coy, I slipped it under your door a while ago," he replied, pulling him along. He smiled at Caesar, trying to look feminine. He had even donned a bra and panties for this stupid ruse. It had better be worth it.

"You'll excuse me if I don't remember," he said slowly. "I get a lot of love letters." This was weird, even for Joseph, but perhaps it was important; maybe he was trying to send him a message. He waved goodbye to the girls, allowing Joseph to drag him; he smiled, as he realized there was probably no other man on Earth he'd do that for.

"From Josephine?" he prodded. Did Caesar really get that man love letters that he could have just ignored the one he had sent him? "Well, whatever, we're together now, that's all that matters."

"Josephine," he repeated. He looked around, then leaned close. "Come on Joseph, is that you? What is this about?"

"Wh-what?" he blinked in amazement. How did Caesar know?! Dammit, was he that ugly or something? "N-no, my name is Josephine~"

He could feel sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. He hoped his make up didn't run.

He sighed deeply, shaking his head.

"Well...Josephine," he began awkwardly, "What is it exactly that you want?"

"A date, obviously~" he replied, as if Caesar had never said anything about his identity. If he brushed it off maybe Caesar would just let it go. "Let's go eat I'm staaarving~"

"And you're paying for this date, correct?" he asked, smiling slightly. As much as he hated to admit it, if Joseph wanted to date him, he wasn't about to say no.

"Whaaat?" he exclaimed, honestly surprised. "You're making a girl pay? Caesar, you're not nearly as chivalrous as I imagined you to be~!"

Joseph glanced at his purse. He didn't have any money on him. Actually, he didn't have much money at all in general. He had never really been great at keeping track of his finances.

"Isn't it traditional for the...ahem, person who asks for a date to pay?" he replied, smiling sweetly.

Joseph glared at Caesar and his sickly sweet smile. It almost made him want to agree.

"Yes, well...fine~ Let's go to a cafe, I want a rootbeer float~" he pulled Caesar along until he found a cute ice cream shop. "Have you ever had a rootbeer float, Caesar~? They're delicious~~~~" he winked flirtatiously.

"No, but I want whatever you're having," he replied, winking back. "I always trust the taste of a pretty...lady."

He grinned and chose a table by the window, nearly bouncing with excitement. Stupid Caesar, he was so falling for it. Or something.

"So, Caesar..." he twirled his hair absently, waiting for their root beer floats to arrive. "Is there any way I can convince you to pay for me? I mean, a pretty girl like me shouldn't be expected to pay for her own food~"

"Perhaps we could arrange an exchange of services," he teased. "I'm sure someone like you could, shall we say, brighten up my bedroom quite nicely."

Joseph felt his cheeks burn red. Even if he was just teasing, that was too much.

"Aww, there's no way I could agree to something like that~ You'd have to buy me a really nice dinner," he insisted, flashing Caesar a devilish grin.

"If I buy you a really nice dinner, you'd owe me a spectacular night," he replied, leaning closer to "her."

Joseph felt his cheeks burn bright red. He hoped his make up hid at least some of it. He was glad their root beer floats arrived before he had to reply. He mulled over his response, taking a long drink from his straw. On one hand, he hadn't had a nice dinner in who knew how long. On the other hand, Caesar could be serious...he shrugged. He doubted he was, what was the harm in saying yes to a nice dinner.

"...that sounds wonderful," he decided, flashing Caesar a grin before he began to eat the ice cream in his float.

Caesar grinned back, pleased by the redness of Joseph's cheeks. He didn't know what game he was playing, but there was no harm in playing right along as far as he could see.

"Excellent. I'll make you into even more of a woman, before we're done."

Joseph did his best to ignore the comment as he finished eating.

"Right, well..." he swallowed back his slight embarrassment and leaned over the table so that he was closer to Caesar. "How nice of a restaurant are we talking?"

"How nice of an evening are we talking?" he replied with a wink.

Joseph just grinned in response, despite his somewhat red cheeks.

"Very nice," he said, challenging Caesar to turn him down. He was going to get the best out of this date. It wasn't like Caesar had the balls to actually sleep with him, so if he could dupe Caesar into paying for a nice dinner he was sure as hell going to.

"So I assume we'll both be getting a full course meal, in one way or another," he said, sliding his fingers up his arm and to his chin.

Joseph kept his grin, though his face had turned even redder.

"You could say that," he said, batting his eyelashes innocently. "Well, we should get to that delicious, expensive meal that I'm looking forward to~ I was thinking...Italia Trattoria."

Joseph smiled knowingly at the extremely expensive restaurant he had named.