I Don't Like You At All, Caesar-Chan!!

"We should go early--you'll need lots of time to fulfill your end of the bargain." He winked, grinning mischievously.

"Oh really? Lots of time?" he asked and leaned over the table. "We'll see about that. Let's just go to dinner."

"If your stamina is an issue, I can assure you I'll accommodate your inexperience." He squeezed Joseph's hand.

"I meant," he began, slightly annoyed. "That I'm so good it won't take nearly as long as you think it will~"

He chuckled.

"Cute," he purred, toying with her hand. "I like your attitude--I'd prepare for a long night, however. Especially if we're going to eat so much good food beforehand. Plenty of calories to burn off, and all that."

"Whatever you say, Caesar~" he replied, grinning devilishly. Stupid Caesar, he was definitely going to pay for his meal and still not get laid. Joseph would be getting a delicious meal and a good night's sleep.

"So, when should we go?" he asked. "I'm free any time such a lovely lady is, I'm sure." He held Joseph's hand to his lips and gave it an uncomfortably long kiss.

Joseph swallowed and pulled his hand away immediately afterwards, ignoring his pounding heart.

"Well, what time is it now? We could certainly go tonight or tomorrow....sooner is better," he insisted.

"Meet me there at six," he said decisively. "I want to eat when the night is still young, so we can take all the time we need."

"Of course," he purred contently. He was going to have the best night of his life. "In that case, I had better go make myself look pretty before then."

"Excellent."

-x-

Caesar checked his watch again, frowning slightly. It was just like Joseph to be late for their bizarre fake crossdressing date. Maybe he was getting sick of wearing a dress? The thought made Caesar more disappointed than he was willing to admit; he was actually enjoying himself.

Just then, scrambling to make it to the restaurant came Joseph. He was panting quite hard when he finally stopped in front of Caesar. He hadn't realized it would take so long to get dressed. He had put on an oddly well fitting dress that swept to the floor. He was wearing gaudy jewelry that resembled pearls but were definitely fake. He had managed to somewhat tame his hair by putting barrettes into it.

He wiped the sweat from his brow with a handkerchief, trying to smile.

"I hope...I'm not late~" he said, looking sheepish.

"I'm pleased to see you here," he said honestly.  "You're late, but I'll excuse you--I heard this was going to be an exceptional night."

Joseph grinned knowingly.

"Of course, of course~" he replied, latching onto Caesar's arm. "It'll be more than exceptional, I promise."

Joseph restrained himself from giggling. Stupid Caesar. He was almost looking forward to the quiet night of sleep more than the meal itself.

"Order whatever you like--I'm having pasta." He smiled sweetly. "It's good for keeping up your energy over long periods of time."

"Then I'll have pasta, too, I'll need it, right?" he toyed with his necklace, completely unaware of the strange looks he and Caesar were getting. "And...a glass of wine. You can order for me."

Joseph had always kind of wanted to have someone else order food for him anyway, and Caesar usually had great, albeit snooty taste in food and wine.

"Isn't it improper for a gentleman to get a lady tipsy? Do you really trust me that much?" He caressed Joseph's hand. "Maybe you shouldn't."

Joseph rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure I can handle myself," he assured Caesar. "Besides, you probably know more about wine than I do. You'll choose something mild, right?"

He was actually pretty clueless when it came to wine, so when it came down to it, he really was trusting Caesar.

"Is it really in my interest to do that?" he teased. "You should be a more careful, a pretty woman like you."

Joseph snorted, rather unladylike.

"If you're a real gentleman then I shouldn't have an issue, right?" he asked, grinning at Caesar. "I'm not worried."

"I never said I was a real gentleman," he replied, grinning wolfishly.

Joseph rose one of his thick eyebrows.

"Then what sort of gentleman are you, hmm~?" he asked, leaning over the table. He was honestly curious.

He thought for a moment, frowning slightly. "The kind that values family," he said, "But also the kind who enjoys female company too much for his own good. I think the real question is, what sort of lady are you?"

Joseph smiled, leaning back in his chair.

"I think we both know what kind of woman I am," he replied, rather in agreement with Caesar's statement. He really did like women too much for his own good. Too much for Joseph's good, for that matter.

He chuckled. "Indeed!"

When the waiter came around, he ordered their wine and their pasta; when it arrived, he dug in hungrily, somehow managing to keep his clothes completely clean in the process.