Curiosity Killed the Joestar

It was bothering him like nothing else. Ever since he met Caesar, and ever since he'd seen the type of playboy he was, there was one thing that he couldn't quite seem to get over, something he just had to know.

And what better time to ask than at the dinner table, right?

Thus, one night as they were eating together as usual, Joseph cleared his throat and bluntly asked, "so, have you ever done it with a guy?"

Caesar choked on his bread, a first for the man who never got a drop of pasta sauce on his clothes. He hurriedly tried to wash it down with wine.

Loggins and Messina made awkward eye contact, reassuring each other that they had heard correctly; Suzie Q strained in her seat, hoping to hear better. Lisa Lisa chewed her food without a word; her sunglasses made it impossible to tell where she was looking.

After emptying half of his glass, Caesar cleared his throat and dabbed at his mouth with a napkin. "...Joseph, I'm going to assume I misheard you. Because if you were to bring up something that impolite at the dinner table, I would be obliged to stab you."

"What?" Joseph hardly seemed to notice or care about the many glances being exchanged around the room. "You're usually so proud of your escapades with the ladies, I didn't think it was really that different of a question."

Yet, there was the faintest hint of a wry grin forming on Joseph's lips. "So, answer the question."

Caesar toyed with his butter knife so it gleamed in the light. "Did you think any part of my statement was a joke, JoJo?"

Joseph shrugged innocently enough.

"Fine, fine, I'll just get the answer out of you later," he grinned widely at Caesar from across the table.

After dinner was consumed in a very awkward silence, Caesar dragged Joseph to their room.

"What the fuck, JoJo?!" he hissed. "What game are you playing?"

Joseph guffawed loudly.

"Did you see Loggins and Messina? Their faces were priceless! Come on, it was just a joke," Joseph replied with a grin. "Although...I am kind of curious, actually." He admitted. "So...have you?"

"...If you must ask...no." He let go of Joseph's shirt and sat down on the bed, rolling his eyes. "But if you ever mention such inappropriate things in Lisa Lisa's presence ever again, I will literally shank you."

"Oh, what, that's the part you're worried about?" Joseph rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, Casanova."

Joseph flopped onto the bed, stretching out his legs and placing his hands behind his head. "...But, really, never?" he asked suddenly, glancing away from Caesar as he spoke. "Like, I kinda figured you would stick your dick in anything, so why not dudes?"

"Never been attracted to one before," he replied, shrugging. "I have eyes only for women." It was only half-true, now; indeed, he had never been attracted to men before Joseph, but he had been staring at his friend during training for a good amount of time now.

Joseph pursed his lips.

"You're boring," he decided. "Well, whatever, question answered, I s'pose."

...and yet, just a few minutes later he said, "...so like, you said you've never been attracted to a guy before, does that mean you could be?"

Caesar, who was hanging up his nice jacket, sighed irritably. "...I suppose. But he'd have to be spectacular. Not common or obnoxious at all--certainly not the type of person who'd disrespect Lisa Lisa."

"So, like...what exactly?" Joseph asked, still not looking at Caesar. He was just curious, no other reason. "I mean, personality and looks wise."

He shrugged, not looking at Joseph. "I'd know if I found him."

"Oh, come on, you have to have some idea," Joseph prodded insistently. "Like, personally, I like busty blonds," he replied bluntly. "Y'know, you could almost fall into that category, what with your giant man breasts," he grinned widely.

"So, come on, what's your type, then?"

"You really want to know?" he asked, shaking his head. "Fine--he'd have to have a killer ass. I'm an ass man. There, is that what you wanted to hear?"

Joseph grinned widely.

"Oh, so that is the reason you've been staring at my ass the past few weeks, thanks for clarifying," he replied and he didn't once stop grinning.

"I haven't stared at your ass once!" he snapped, turning to Joseph.

"Oh, come on, Caesar," he jumped to his feet. "You barely ever miss the opportunity! You stare at my ass all the time, and now I know why. I mean, I do have a pretty nice ass, so it's fine."

Joseph snickered. "Does that make me special, then? The only man to ever make you pop a boner? Well?"

"An asshole like you?! Please, as if someone so annoying could get me hard. As if someone so inexperienced could get me hard." He crossed his arms, snorting.

Joseph scoffed.

"Oh, really?" he placed his hands on his hips. "Is that a challenge, Fabio? I bet I could easily get you hard!"

"You couldn't get a loaf of bread hard after a week of sitting on the counter," he scoffed.

Joseph gritted his teeth at the accusation. "Fine! I'll take that as a challenge, I know I can definitely get you hard, you're probably easy, anyway!"

"You forget I'm not a virgin," he replied, snickering. "While the breeze blowing through the window may feel intimate enough to excite you, I require actual stimulation. I am capable of controlling my body, believe it or not."

Joseph felt his entire face grow hot due to equal parts anger and embarrassment. "I'm not a fucking virgin!" he shouted far too defensively. "I can control my body just fine! And I'm gonna prove to you that I can definitely give you a boner, do you hear me?!"