WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO NAME THIS GUY

She wrapped her arms around Theo's neck, smiling.

"My special someone doesn't want to sleep with me, can I go find someone else?~"

"No." He insisted.

"So I have to get them to sleep with me?"

"No, that's not what I mean, either."

"So...I have to live with a special someone that doesn't want me to be happy?"

He sighed.

"No...That's not it, either."

"Then what are you saying?"

"...never mind."

"So I can sleep with people that aren't my special someone?"

"No."

"So I just can't get laid ever and I should die a miserable, lonely virgin."

He sighed.

"You can do anything you want; I just won't help you unless I agree."

"So will you help me find someone to maybe become my soulmate?" she asked.

"If you follow my rules, yes."

"Then take me to the park today so I can find them," she insisted.

"The park?"

She nodded.

"People are at the park, right? Unless you think I should try a brothel or something, 'cuz that'd be fine too."

"No." He replied sternly. "Fine, we'll dress you up nicely, and we'll try to find a nice man for you. Or woman, I suppose."

"Can women do that?" she asked, blinking uselessly.

"Yes. Well, sort of..."

"Does it feel better if it's a man or a woman?"

"It depends on your preference." He explained.

"...Which is your preference?"

"...Please don't ask that."

"But I wanna know!" she exclaimed, pouting. "I want to like what you like."