NO MORE ANUS BLEEDING

They all settled onto Seagull, but were annoyed by his movements. Crow laid back, taking off his jacket as he did so. Not surprisingly, he wasn't wearing anything underneath but a tight-fitting black shirt.

"Fuck." He said just as bluntly. "I'm horny again."

That wasn't actually a hundred percent true, but he doubted Seagull would accept the other reason.

"Finally, you fucking swear like a motherfucking man," he slurred, almost done with his milkshake. He stared at the glass in mild surprised. "...Can I get more of this shit? It's fucking amazing...fucking everything here is fucking amazing, I want another goddamn milkshake."

Crow smiled widely, sipping more of his coke.

"Yes, I'll get you some more. Just sit there." He stood up and took the milkshake, setting it onto the table. He shooed the animals and sat down on Seagull's lap, instead.

"But first," He laughed and kissed Seagull on the nosey.

Seagull frowned, looking confused and irritated.

"That's for people who wanna do more than fuck me," he said bluntly. He shoved Crow in the chest, trying to make him move. "Get off my lap...'s not for you...not yet, anyhow..."

Crow nuzzled him, kissing his neck.

"No, make me." He said stubbornly. "I wanna kiss your neck and your nose so I'm going to."

He giggled. "Silly, I can do whatever I want."

"You're not my true wuuuuv," he insisted, struggling halfhearted. "Fucking stoooop it...it's so fucking hard when it feels nice and I want it...get the fuck off, I don't want you to..."

His face was bright red by now; his movements had become clumsy.

"Just gimme my fucking milkshake--my milkshake...isn't a douche! Ha!" He laughed at his non-joke for a few minutes, forgetting to resist Crow's onslaught of kisses.

Crow still insisted on kissing his neck, occasionally licking him, too. He was enjoying himself, after all. He reached for Seagull's pants, not the least bit stealthy about it.

"You're so cute~" He cooed, kissing Seagull on the cheek.

"Don't say that," he grumbled. He slapped Crow's hands away, looking miserable. "You didn't say the special words first. Means you're faking it...asshole...giant asshole faker."

By now he had a really obvious erection, but still he insisted on glaring at Crow. Crow was a big meanie-face faker asshole, he thought to himself.

He felt up Seagull's rather tiny obvious erection, grinning.

"What special words~?" He asked, kissing his nose again. It was just so cute, like the rest of his darling Seagull. Adorable and cute and perfect. He would marry him one day.

A small noise escaped through his gritted teeth. He tried to shove Crow away again, to no avail.

"Fuck you. Everyone fucking knows those goddamn words...they're what you say to you soulmate. The ones they use in all the movies. They're...uh..." He frowned, scratching his head. What were those words, again?...

His eyes brightened as he remembered.

"Ah, I fucking remember that sick motherfucking shit now. 'I love you'--it's that fucking shit."

"I love you, too~" He purred, taking Seagull's little rant as a confession. Now that they'd both confessed, obviously they could have warm, loving sex now.

He nuzzled Seagull, kissing his neck again. "So cute~"

"...What?" he asked, extremely confused and alarmed. "...You've never said that before...are you fucking lying?"

"You just said you loved me." He said, smiling. "So I told you I love you, too. Because it's true."

Naturally, Seagull ripped off his shirt and began to fuck Crow like a man. Or at least, that's what would've happened, if Seagull had possessed anywhere near that level of raw mangrit.

Instead, he began sobbing into Crow's shirt, pulling him close. Unsatisfied with the way they were positioned, he shoved Crow on the couch and crawled on top of him; the animals that had been laying there only had seconds to scramble out of the way. Not giving a though to how badly it would stain Crow's shirt, he wept and wept.

"W-why didn't you say anything...you huge fucking asshole!! I've wanted that to happen since I fucking met you...fuck you, you're a jerk!"

Crow looked confused, but he cuddled Seagull anyway.

"You hated me." He said, confused. "But I liked you. I still like you. I thought you'd...hate me more."

He frowned slightly. Stupid Seagull, making him confess all this crap. Somewhere he realized this was a bad idea, but he ignored that.

He slapped Crow weakly.

"You're...a stuuuupid fuckhead! I hated you because you were a bitch, and you don't love people--you just treat them like shit...I was angry I was in love with someone fucktarded like you. But I still wanted you to fuck me and stuff so I did that but it just pissed me off more and you're a fuckhead and an asshole. Why didn't you fucking say something earlier!!"

"...I just explained that." He said, laughing slightly. "Come on, let's go cuddle in my room, baby."

"I don't wanna cuddle," he replied defiantly, pouting. "First, I wan' my milkshake...then I want to screw you so hard you can't...that you can't...forget it, I just want to fuck you I guess."

Crow grinned.

"Now that we love each other, you have to top."

"Does this face look like it gives a shit?!" he spat drunkenly. "LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I GIVE, THEY'RE IN THE MOTHERFUCKING AIR OH WAIT THERE AREN'T ANY. Now get my milkshake, asshole."

Crow shoved him off so he could get him another milkshake.

"Fine, fine, you fucking baby, I'll get you your milkshake."

Seagull sank onto the couch, smiling.

"I loooove you!..."

Crow kissed his nose before getting another milkshake for him, making it rather shittily due to his own drunkenness. He returned and handed it to Seagull.

"There."

He took a gulp of his coke, hoping he would feel less dizzy. Maybe he was getting sick? Yeah, that was probably it.

Seagull sipped it, but put it down before he was even half done.

"For some reason I really want to fucking do you right now. Is that really shitting weird?...Motherfuck."

Crow pounced on Seagull anyway, feeling him up.

"Then hurry up and get naked." He insisted. "Or better yet, come with me to the bedroom and then get naked."