Frederich Starts To Feel Guilty

He nodded.

"Yeah, why? They have a few songs I like--'Bring Me To Life' is pretty good. Why do you ask?"

"Just making sure." He said. "Set up the fake tree, then decorate it."

Claude nodded, hurrying to the box.

"Hey, is there a reason we didn't buy a real tree? Just like the white ones?" He chuckled, smiling at Frederich. "In a way, I kinda wish they made them in black or purple or red--that'd be cool, don't you think? Like something straight out of The Nightmare Before Christmas. That's my kind of Christmas."

Frederich continued to take ribbons out of his own box.

"We didn't buy a real tree because they're a mess to clean up." He said, fingering a frayed ribbon. "They don't make dark colored trees mallgoth fags like you would buy them."

"...'Mallgoth fags'?" he repeated, dumbfounded. "What do you mean, 'mallgoth fags like me'?" He self-consciously pulled his Evanescence shirt a little lower; like most of his shirts, it was cut to to show off his belly, so tugging at it did little.

"I just meant that since they come in pink and white and stuff, some other colors would be cool too."

He looked at Claude, as if the huge insult he just gave him hadn't meant anything.

"Google it." He replied emotionlessly. "Stop messing around and put up the tree."

"I know what it means," he replied, frowning. "I'm not a mallgoth, and since when does my sexuality bug you? I thought you were cool with it."

Frederich thought for a moment.

"I don't care." He replied afterwards. "I just thought your appearance wanted a break from my mocking it, so I chose something else to make fun of."

"Did you ever consider maybe just not making fun of me?" he asked with a frown. "I really don't like it--I can't change my sexuality, you know."

"...No, I never considered not making fun of you. Why shouldn't I. You're not on my level." He said, as if it were completely obvious. To Frederich, it was simple logic. Yet, there was that pang of guilt.

He smiled, trying to hide the hurt welling up inside his chest. Frederich's insults always hurt.

"Y-yeah, I guess...I guess it's okay for you to call me a mallgoth fag, if you really want. I don't mind all that much." He cleared his throat and went back to righting the tree. "Can I ask something, though? What was...earlier about? You know, in the bedroom."

Suddenly, Frederich was silent. How did he explain that, anyway?

"..."

He blushed as the silence stretched on.

"D-did I say something wrong?..."

"...I did it because I wanted to." He said awkwardly. It was perhaps the most tone his voice had ever gotten.

He blushed even further.

"R-really? Because if that's the case, I take back what I said--I'd really like to accept your offering of a first time, I've really never been with anyone before but it's okay if it's you. I...I don't care if it hurts, as long as you want it."

Oh no. Now Frederich had to decline. He had just wanted to give him a handjob, not all the rest.

"...no thank you." He said.

"B-but I thought..."

"...I changed my mind. Forever."

"But I promise I won't change my mind this time," he insisted. "Even if we don't go very far, or we go all the way--I want it."

"Forever means forever." He insisted. He didn't want to go through that ordeal again.

"Not even just a hand job?" he asked sadly. "I'll uh--I'll just touch you, if you want! That works...I could also just touch myself while you're nearby. That'd be nice too." He blushed, hiding his arms behind his back. "Nicer than normal, I mean."

"No." He said sternly. "Finish putting up the tree or go waste your own time somewhere else."

He sighed, biting his lips awkwardly. He adjusted the tree a little and stepped back.

"There. All finished. If you didn't want to have sex with me, why offer?"

Frederich frowned. He wished Claude would stop asking. It was getting hard to think up excuses.

"...Frederich? Are you listening? Why did you want to sleep with me? You know I won't make fun." Claude pursed his lips, tapping the floor impatiently with his foot. "...I'd kind of like to know. I must've done something right, finally."