PUPPIES ARE SOO CUTE

Faust practically shoved the little guy into Thaddeus's face.

"I hope you aren't allergic." He said, though it was much too late for that anyway.

Thaddeus pulled out his gun and shot the puppy in the head.

"Can I go, now?"

He rolled his eyes.

"Luckily for you, I'm a necromancer!"

He shot it again.

"It reminds me of you."

"So, I guess you're a cat person." He said cheerily.

"I fucking hate those, too," he replied with a shrug.

"...what if I raise a baby and convince it its a dog?"

"I'd shoot any baby of yours in the fucking face," he said without hesitation.

He giggled.

"That's why I like you. You're not soft, like my two sons."

"...You have sons?" he asked, disgusted at the idea of someone liking Faust enough to procreate with him. The last thing the word needed was more of this man's DNA running around.

"Oh, I've mentioned them before." He said simply. "But you're better than both of them."

"I'm not your son," he spat. "My father was a good man."

"Oh, I'm glad you're not my son. It's sort of strange to masturbate to them. But with you, I do it guilt free!" He said, grinning happily.

Thaddeus held his gun to Fausts's head without another word.

He grinned wider.

"Just kidding, sweetie." He said slyly, despite the fact he totally wasn't.

"I dunno, I still kind of want to shoot."

"Don't worry; everyone who knows me does." He reassured Thaddeus.

"I can imagine," he replied dryly.

He skipped towards the kitchen.

"I am hungry!" He informed Thaddeus. "Are you?"

"Not for anything you're gonna touch," he said, sitting down on the sofa.

"I could order pizza." He grinned suddenly, toying with his hat. "I love scaring the pizza guy."

"Not in the mood for pizza," he said quickly.

"Chinese? They're fun to scare, too~"

He shrugged.

"Why not? But I'm getting the door."

He pouted.

"Well, how am I supposed to drag him inside and make him my next experiment?" He asked incredulously.