I HATE YOU I LOVE YOU

"Compensating for how your face sucks glamor from the air? Yes, probably, but I'm hot enough to handle it," he snapped cattily.

"The only thing I can find wrong with my face is this tattoo which was forcibly engraved upon me the night I lost everything I once held dear to me." He said, sounding as unemotional as ever.

"That, and your emo attitude. And you're positively covered in hair."

"Maybe once you're older, you'll grow hair in the appropriate places, too."

He scoffed.

"I'd never let myself go like that, thank you."

"In my case, it's a genetic trait I have no control over." He said, setting down the book again. "It's getting late, I'm going to sleep."

Merlin laughed.

"Really, are you that old? I thought wolves were nocturnal. In any case, you're certainly the shittiest assistant I could've asked for--I can't even fuck you to make myself feel better about it."

"I'm only nocturnal the closer it gets to the full moon." He explained calmly.

"What are you, a werewolf?" he scoffed.

"Yes." He replied without even pausing.

He coughed.

"...Suddenly my ambition of fucking a werewolf at some point in my life seems less sexy."

Hesekiel seemed unfazed.

"That's a rather untoward ambition. Also, a stupid one. You'd either be torn to pieces or suddenly find yourself involved in bestiality. The second is much more likely."

He groaned, facepalming.

"That was a joke, you ignoramous."

"Was it? Your sense of humor is terrible, too. I can't decide which is worse, your skill in bed or your humor."

"You'd better get used to both," he snapped bitchily, "Because you're my new assistant. You entire job description is putting up with me and catering to my needs, princess, so suck it the fuck up."

"Does this mean I can't go to sleep?" He asked, obviously it was the only thing that concerned him.

"You know what? Yes."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't like you," he replied truthfully.

"What do you expect me to do instead of sleep?"

"Figure it out," he replied smugly, grinning.

Without another word, he took out his book and began to read again.

He walked over, grabbed the book, and tossed it across the room.

Hesekiel just looked at him.

"You made me lose my page."

"I'll set it on fire next, I think," he said calmly, smiling.