The Name's Datta

"Have fun," said Benoit, walking to the linen closet to fetch a blanket and pillows.

"I'll also try to not sleepily crawl into your bed with you in the middle of the night because I'm lonely and having nightmares."

"If you do, I won't bother trying not to sleepily mistake you for a burglar and kill you."

"...Why would a burglar cuddle you?"

"You wouldn't get that far--maybe two steps into the bedroom," he said with a shrug.

He sighed.

"Fine, fine, I'll stay on the couch. You're no fun at all."

"Funny--my last date used those exact words."

"You forced your last date to sleep on the couch?" He asked.

"No, it was her choice, strangely enough."

"...What did you do to the poor girl?"

He shrugged.

"Nothing. She wanted to retire to the bedroom, I wanted to play checkers."

"...Checkers on the first date? Did you at least offer her alcohol?" He questioned.

"No, I don't keep any on hand--why?"

He laughed, smiling slightly.

"No, nothing. Never mind, it's not important."

Somehow, he looked pleased.

"Alcohol on the first date seems so unclassy," he defended himself. "I don't want to trick a woman into anything, by any means."

"No, really, you're completely right." He nodded, smiling happily. "Do you plan on going on any dates in the future?"

"Well, of course," he replied. "My parents want me to find a wife, and no one wants to be lonely forever, I suppose...who knows? Maybe one day I'll find Mrs. Right."

"The next time you do, I can help you make things go over really smoothly!" He nodded. "You should ask me for advice."

He shook his head, placing the pillows and blanket on the couch.

"No, no...it's really none of your business."

"But I want you to happy!" He insisted.

"I'll achieve it on my own, thanks," he replied with a shrug.

"Can we at least go on double dates?"

"Don't friends normally do that? We aren't friends, Charlie."

"But we're partners. And partners are always together, and it would be awkward if I followed you on dates uninvited." He pointed out.

"...Come again?"