Crows and Seagulls Are Totally Pals Right?

Crow grinned.

"I thought you were the one who said this mission isn't about killing each other."

"What the hell else am I supposed to do?!" he demanded. "You're going to drive me fucking crazy."

"Is this just about sexual tension or something? 'cause I could probably make an exception to my 'no fucking men with small dicks' rule."

"I...I don't even know," he said honestly, holding a hand to his aching head. "Just...call me small again and I'll blast a hole in your brain, I'm fucking sick of hearing it."

He shrugged.

"If we aren't going to fuck, I'm finding someone who will. Choose."

"I, I don't...just do it," he groaned, collapsing to his knees and holding his head. His entire body felt so weak...

Crow shrugged and attacked him, scooping him up and throwing him onto the bed.

"Hope you don't mind anal."

Seagull struggled to get up but found himself paralyzed by pain, gasping from breath.

"W-what?!"

"Oh, and you're receiving." He informed him, reaching to take off his pants.

"N-no, I don't..." He struggled for breath and to form coherent thoughts; why had he thought a fist fight would be a good idea, again?

Crow stared at him, then it hit him.

"Oh. You probably need a trip to the hospital, don't you?"

"I'll be fine!" he snapped, wheezing. "You just...threw me on the fucking bed...asshole."

Crow pushed in on his chest, not too much, but enough to see how much pain he was in.

Seagull's eyes widened and he gritted his teeth, but he made no sound; instead, he swatted Crow's hand away.

Crow grinned.

"I am going to fuck you so hard if you don't admit you're hurt."

He glared defiantly.

"I'm not going to lie for your mercy."

Crow shrugged.

"Have it your way then. Oh, and get on your hands and knees and take off your pants; I'm not in the mood for games, anymore."

"I can't lie down?" he asked, hesitantly reaching for his belt; God, why was he even doing this?

"If you beg." He sniggered cruelly.

"...You can't make me do either," he insisted, stripping off his pants with as much dignity as possible.

Crow smiled.

"Oh, then I'll just force you to do it the hard way."

"...What's that?"

"I bend you into a nice, uncomfortable position." He replied, grinning.

"Just do it while I'm lying down," he groaned. "I hardly want this in the first place..."

"If you 'hardly want it' I'm not going to give it to you." He replied, grinning widely.