Who Ya Gonna Call?!

"Not the ones closest to him," he reminded. "Priests generally can't marry."

"Well I fully intend to." He replied simply. "I want to have a family, even if it means I cannot become a priest."

He smiled, nuzzling him softly.

"Then you should leave now. I can't teach you anything unless you are quite literally willing to sacrifice the rest of your life."

Mars looked to the side.

"...However, in order to obtain my short term goal, if I have to sacrifice my future, I will."

"Then why not take me?" he asked, pressing lightly against Mars's body.

Mars shoved him away immediately.

"I've already explained this!" He snapped. "My body will be for my wife and my wife alone! You will stop trying to touch me as if you were my lover! It's disgusting!"

He looked to the side, smiling.

"And we couldn't have a family? Help the lord by adopting a neglected child instead of creating a new one?"

Mars continued to glare at him relentlessly.

"That does not change the fact that we are two men. Beyond that, I don't love you, I don't even like you." He told Priestly. "If that changes, then we will talk."

Priestly pulled Mars into a sexy, passionate kiss, feeling up every inch of the man's body he could reach.

"...Very well. That is the last I will touch you until our relationship...defrosts." He smiled. "No more on-the-job sexual harassment."

Mars quickly reached for his cross, saying a quick few verses to cleanse himself.

"No more sexual harassment at all." He replied. "Correct?"

"Now, let's go into the attic, shall we?" he said, pulling down the ladder.

Unsatisfied with the answer he got, Mars just sighed.

"Yes."

"You first," said Priestly, winking.

Cautiously, Mars ascended the ladder into the attic.

"Do you have a flashlight?" He wondered absently.

Priestly followed him, pulling a keychain flashlight out of pocket.

"Lordy, it sure is dark, isn't it? You should've said something, Mars Bar."

Ignoring that, Mars continued to climb until he made it all the way into the attic. He hefted himself onto the floor and stood up, dusting his clothes off.

Priestly hefted himself on top of Mars, though surely not on purpose.

Mars had half a mind to shove him down back down the hole, but he managed to stop himself before he did so.

"Hey, Mars, can we talk--you know, man to man?"

"We are kind of busy with something else right now!" Mars replied harshly. "Can it wait?!"

"Would you consider dating me if I were female?" he asked, shining his flashlight around the room.

Mars almost laughed.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course I wouldn't. You would have already proven yourself to be promiscuous, and thus unfit to be my lover."

"What if I repented? And had excellent sexy child-bearing hips?"

"Never. You aren't my type." He said, then frowned. "That is, if you were a women."

"Then what is you type?" he asked. "Boring, devoted to God, naiive and fake-and-sheltered-as-all-getout?"