Start of Something New

Yuri grabbed the remote, eating a spoonful of ice cream.

"You know Blair, whenever you want to talk about your family you can. But I won't force you." He scooted closer to him on the couch, so that their thighs were touching.

"Now, is there anything I can do to make you feel better? You a hug guy or a food guy or a sex guy or what?"

He frowned deeper, adjusting the ice on his eye again and grimacing.

"...I don't want to talk about my family." He insisted, even though he knew it wasn't true. "And I'm fine!"

He couldn't believe he was passing up he opportunity to coerce Yuri into sex. But he knew it was because he liked Yuri too much to spring it on him like this. It just wasn't really fair to either of them. He wanted sex, yes, but not this way. An opportune moment would present itself some other time. He hoped.

"Come on, there has to be something!" he insisted. "I'm a music guy. Hey...are you just to ashamed to admit you're a hug guy? It's not bad, you know--you can't call someone a pussy for having a bad day. Besides, we're both friends, right?" He smiled, nudging Blair slightly.

"I'm not afraid to admit I like hugs!" He replied defensively. Actually, he was. Still, he groaned. "...I like to cook, but not even that is going to make me feel better right now, okay? Are you satisfied?"

He leaned on his hand, looking glum.

"Then we'll find something else," he said, wrapping his arms around Blair. "What else makes you happy, besides cooking?"

He felt his face turn red, and he wiggled out of Yuri's arms. There was certainly no way he was going to admit he enjoyed cuddling, and by far there was no way he was going to admit he enjoyed sex. Well, actually, he wasn't positive he enjoyed sex, because he was still technically a virgin, but whatever.

He grinned mischievously.

"Hey, you are a hug guy--get over here and hug me, you wimp. Come on, be a man." He laughed, clinging to Blair even more tightly. "It's okay--if this makes you feel better, we'll hug for the whole movie!"

Groaning in defeat, Blair pulled Yuri onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him.

"...Just don't tell anyone." He grumbled, despite the fact that both of them knew that wasn't likely to happen. It kind of made Blair feel better, though.

Yuri laughed genuinely, squeezing Blair in return; as he was much smaller, it wasn't very effective. He shifted, adjusting his soft pink pajamas and reaching for the remote. He smiled at Blair, patting him awkwardly but gently on the shoulder.

"So--are you ready for the sheer horror of murderous pixies in 3D? Because I sure am. If you get scared, you can hide your face in my shoulder, Blair--real men aren't afraid to be scared, right?" He pressed play, leaning against Blair to get comfortable.

"You know, Blair, your lap is really big--I bet your girlfri...oh. Right. Well, I guess when you get a boyfriend they'll probably like it. It's comfy--are you sure you aren't getting fat?" he teased.

He slapped Yuri on the shoulder playfully.

"Of course I'm not getting fat!" He replied, with just a twinge of defensiveness in his voice. "I work out everyday, I have a strict diet and I'm very disciplined."

He smiled, though, despite that.

"I wouldn't worry about my getting a boyfriend." He replied simply, watching the screen without really paying attention. After all, there was only one person who knew his secret. And he planned on keeping it that way.

Yuri frowned, glancing at Blair.

"But doesn't everyone want to end up with someone? Is it because you don't know anyone? You shouldn't worry--there are plenty of hot gay guys out there, just look at Hollywood or the porn industry. Someone like you won't have a problem, right? I mean, you date all the time--everyone in your group does." He turned his attention back to the movie for a second before a new question popped into his head.

"Hey, Blair--what's it like, anyway? Dating someone, I mean. Being popular. How does it feel? What do you even do?"

"Of course I'd like to end up with someone, but no one else is ever going to know about me, so it doesn't matter." He replied simply. To Blair, it was literally that simple. "I'll just stay like this forever. I don't mind, you know.

"As for being popular? It's terrible." He sighed heavily, shifting the ice on his eye yet again. "I...I wouldn't recommend it. Everyone is constantly bugging you about how you're an awesome person, but you know that you really aren't because you don't actually tell any of your friends anything. I can't remember the last time I was honest with any of them. They don't really care, though, you know? Just as long as you pretend that you're hot shit.

"Oh, better yet, women are all idiots. Dating in high school is worse than dating in middle school -- Be lucky you haven't started. I hate women. You're better off without them. They're too fuckin' good at knowing when you're lying..." He grumbled something else, looking glum again.

Blair really hated his life.

Yuri laughed awkwardly.

"But I'm not gay--maybe I'll like women more? I mean, they're pretty and all, and I'd totally bang one of them--well, I think. Am I allowed to say that, or is it weird? Though I guess if they're good at detecting lies, they probably wouldn't like me.

"I think I lie more than you do, Blair." He was smiling, but something about it seemed hollow.

He laughed, a completely unamused, cold laugh.

"I don't think it matters who lies more. We shouldn't have to lie at all. Sometimes I think about that, you know? But I'm better off lying. If I told my friends, if I told my family...Who knows what would happen." He furrowed his eyebrows, because he already had a good enough idea. "If I don't lie, things would be so much worse for me. For you, too."

He glanced at Yuri, though he avoided eye contact. "It's better this way. It will always be better this way."

He shrugged, nodding.

"I mean, I like you, and I guess you seem to like me...but if they knew I acted like a fag, people'd probably hate me even more. I just know it. It's funny, too, because I like girls. I'm not gay, at all. Not that there's anything wrong with that," he added quickly. "I mean, I like guys, too--I wouldn't mind dating one. You know, if I could get a date."

"Wait, what?" He asked, completely disregarding everything else Yuri had said. "What did you just say?"

He had originally planned on just using Yuri to talk to, he hadn't actually expected him to be bisexual. He had hoped. A lot. But in the end, he figured Yuri was just...straight. This was actually a much better outcome than he had expected. He had figured that, maybe, he could coerce him into 'trying' out sex with a guy if he got desperate enough, but...

Yuri blinked, frowning.

"...That I'd want to date a guy? What, you knew I was bi, right? Don't tell me I didn't say anything? I mean, yeah, I want to bang Gwen Stefani, but I like guys too. Guys can be hot, I just never have the chance to date anyone, so..." He shrugged. "If I find a nice guy, sure, but I doubt that'll happen. I'm not likable."

-x-

Blair had gotten too familiar around Yuri. By which I mean, whenever they were together, he lovingly pulled him onto his lap and nuzzled him and cuddled him and loved on him. If you didn't know he was gay, you could tell the second he was alone with Yuri.

His favorite thing to do was to just sit down and watch movies, cuddling Yuri in his lap. Of course, Blair knew exactly why this was. He simply pretended he didn't know. He liked to tell himself he wasn't in love, even though he knew he obviously was.

This particular time, they were watching a somewhat boring comedy, and Blair had taken to playing with Yuri's hair, instead of watching the movie. It was so nice. Maybe he would grow out his hair? He liked long hair. It was fun to play with.

Yuri swatted at his hand good-naturedly, smiling.

"Sheezus, Blair--I thought we were watching a movie. If you want to be bestest boyfriends forever instead, just ask." Yuri teased Blair often, though he never was very serious; he liked Blair, and he was certainly a very attractive young man, but considering a relationship would do no good. He couldn't even get friends--lovers were impossible.

He nuzzled him.

"Oh, silly." He replied, pulling him even closer. "I can't help it, I like your hair. Should I grow mine out?"

He absently touched his lack of hair curiously. "Does this suit me? I used to have long hair, you know."

He giggled.

"I can't imagine that--you're supposed to have short hair! Though I had long hair too, you know. Mom and dad never combed it, so it got really tangled and we cut it aaaaall off at the end of the sixth grade. You went to middle school with me, right? You remember seeing me practically bald? I got teased so badly that year."

He examined Blair's face thoughtfully. "Though, I suppose long hair might suit you--depends on how long, though. The number one rule is no mullets or rat-tails, ever."

He laughed.

"Well, obviously. It'd be hard growing it out, though. I hate not being able to put my hair into a ponytail. It gets in my eyes." He mused. "I don't get how you can stand your hair."

Yuri shrugged.

"It get tangle pretty easily and does whatever the hell it wants, so I don't know either. In any case, I think you look really cute no matter what."

"Mm, I'm cute?" He asked, really just curious. "I always thought I was just...normal looking. Though, I guess I should know better since girls seem to think I'm 'sooo hot' or whatever the fuck they even say."

He thought for a second.

"...I don't think I'm cute. You are, though."

He laughed again, though less loudly than before. He awkwardly smoothed his hair before speaking; what was he supposed to say to that? He had never really been complimented on his looks before--at least, not by anyone who wasn't his parents.

"Wow, Blair, no need to be a jerk about it. I do think you're cute--you don't have to tease me. I mean, it's not like I only talk to you so I can do you or whatever--you're just a good-looking guy. Your, um, future boyfriend will be a lucky guy, is all." He smiled. "Those girls are right."

He turned back to the movie.

"So, uh, did you catch any of that? Someone was teasing me, so I missed that entire scene, I think."