Who Ya Gonna Call?!

Mars looked to Priestly.

"How can you enjoy this sort of thing?"

"Because I don't have to sentence anyone to eternal damnation," he rhapsodized cheerily.

Mars just frowned, somewhat lost.

"If you say so..."

He cleared his throat addressing the demon.

"Well, this is going to be hard to explain, ma'am...but this whore, what did she do to you?"

"Stole my husband," it replied without hesitation. "Stole my husband, my house, my family, and then..." She made several low, unintelligible sounds; after a few minutes it became apparent she was sobbing. "Then they killed me. My dear, darling husband...that wretched whore corrupted him, and together they killed me..."

"Shhh, shhhhh," murmured Priestly quietly, listening with a concerned expression. "It's alright, they won't hurt you anymore--I promise. Now, where did you die, miss...?"

"Agnes," she said miserably. "Mrs. Robert Cooper."

Mars stared with fascination. The things corruption and love could do to a person were truly fascinating.

"...I died in the kitchen," she said quietly, her body shuddering. "They shoved me in the stove...but my ashes are hidden in the bedroom. Under the floorboards, in a little plain box." She sobbed again. "Just a plain little wooden box!"

Priestly nodded sympathetically.

"Don't worry, dear--we'll get you a proper burial. But first, I have to explain a few things...namely, that the woman you're after is dead."

She sat up, unbelieving; amber eyes flashed from the dark mass that was her form.

"...You're lying. I've seen her, you're lying!!"

He shook his head.

"The woman you want died some time ago. The person living in this house right now? She's her descendant, as was the last one you killed."

She sobbed, shaking her head.

"N-no...it can't be true!! I saw her, I see her here!"

"Do you know how long you've been dead?" he asked; his question was greeted with silence. "It's been hundreds of years. The woman here isn't the same one you're looking for--isn't that right, Mars?" He shot his associate a pointed look.

Mars nodded.

"Ma'am...The woman who lives here inherited the house from a relative, who did the same. I suspect it's been a long time since you've died."

She sobbed, tearing at her hair.

"No, no, no!! If that's true, then...then I'm the same!!" She curled into a fetal postion, bawling and pounding the floor with her fists. "I'm hurting women, killing them...I tried to take away that poor woman's husband! I'm a whore, a whore--nothing but a wretched whore!!" She shrieked in agony, shaking the entire attic.

Priestly approached her cautiously, gently laying a hand on her back.

"You're not like that Agnes--you know you're not. You just made a mistake...God still loves you."

She quieted, looking up; her body began to take a ore human form, as the tails faded and her face gained soft features.

"Y-you think..."

He nodded.

"And now you can go join him, if you repent--you have no reason to remain on Earth. Would you like to repent, Agnes?"

She nodded weakly.

"Then please, remain here and pray. Pray until you feel your body lifting into Heaven." He removed the stake, and lightly ushered Mars toward the exit. "Come on, we've done all we can, here."

Mars slowly walked with him, though he was still fascinated. Priestly had been...professional for once.

"Well, let's not make her wait shall we?" he said brightly, once they had descended. "Hope you don't mind getting your hands dirty."

Mars stretched his body.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard her. Her ashes are under the floorboards." He laughed, patting Mars on the back. "She'll be praying hopelessly for all eternity if we don't give her a proper burial."

"Shouldn't we just call the police?" He asked. "Isn't it illegal to just dig up someone's remains?"

He lightly smacked Mars on the arm.

"Don't be foolish--we're not digging up anything but a box. Is it illegal to fetch your grandma's urn from the basement? It's the same principal, really."

He looked skeptical, but he agreed anyway.

"I guess..."

"Now, go ask the nice lady downstairs if she has any tools we can borrow."

Mars nodded and headed downstairs.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" He called.

"Yes?" she squeaked. "W-what were all those noises?!"

Mars smiled reassuringly.

"We've almost finished our job. Now, I apologize, but could we borrow some tools from your shed?"

She nodded.

"I...I guess...but be careful, they're Bill's."

He smiled at her.

"Of course! We'll be very careful with all of them. Thank you!"

He skipped off to go find the necessary items and bring them back to Priestly. Once he'd gotten back into the room he asked, "Did you find my rosary, by the way?"

"Oops," said Priestly, who was dusting off a small box. "I should get right on that, actually."

An entire floorboard had been ripped away, and there was dust all over the floor.

"Why'd you take so long? I'm finished."

Mars groaned.

"Thanks." He mumbled.

Priestly held up a crowbar.

"I carry one at all times, you see." He tucked the crowbar and the box into his messenger bag, smiling. "Let's go!"

"Then why did you send me downstairs at all?!" He exclaimed, carrying the tools back downstairs with him.