Who Ya Gonna Call?!

"I thought I'd need them," he said, shrugging. "Now let's go say goodbye to the nice lady and be on our way."

-x-

"Do you want an ice cream Mars?" asked Priestly pleasantly as they waited in line.

Still upset about the whole tool thing he replied, "No. You're mean."

He chuckled, scratching his head.

"I'll just get some yummy sorbet, then--if you want to share later, you can."

He sulked for a while longer until he took out his beloved rosary and toyed with it a bit.

"Be happy I found that," he said, scratching his head. "It was horribly hard to find among all the dust--you owe me one."

"No, it was your punishment for being so mean." He replied pointedly.

He grinned.

"Fine--you owe me for saving your ass when you lost that thing. Agnes was going to kill you."

"I shouldn't owe you anything!" He replied angrily.

He smiled.

"But I'm such an opportunist."

He just grumbled, putting his rosary away.

"Please, please won't you go on a date with me?" he asked sweetly.

Mars finally smiled.

"Of course not." He said. "Ah, turning you down actually makes me feel better."

"Come on, I'll buy you dinner, take you to a movie..." He sighed dreamily. "I won't molest you until you want it--I'll be a nice and proper date, no touching."

"Absolutely no touching at all?" He couldn't believe he was actually considering it. "If I say yes, you can't call it a 'date' either. It's just two friends going out for dinner and a movie. That's it."

He shook his head.

"But that isn't proper--if you don't acknowledge the romantic aspects, we become something akin to 'friends with benefits'. We'll be two friends on a date."

He shook his head.

"Then, no. I'll pass."

He sighed deeply.

"All i want is for you to consider me romantically--even if for only one night. That's all I want. I don't even want your love: just consider the other possibility!"

Mars glared at him.

"There's nothing to consider. I've already made up my mind."

"Without giving me a chance? I doubt the Lord supports that philosophy."

"I don't think the Lord supports homosexuality, either." He replied coldly.

He laughed loudly.

"You're so naive sometimes...the Lord has better things to do than go around damning people to hell for love. He wants all of his children to be happy."

"He also wants his children to procreate." He replied snappily. "Which is still something I intend to do in the future. A future without you. I don't want you anywhere near my children."

He rolled his eyes.

"The planet's overpopulated, genius--somehow I doubt he wants his children to die a horrible death of starvation and lack of resources. Just...please? One night, with you...make an old 'twenty-two year old' happy." He winked flirtatiously.

"Still no." He replied simply.

Then, he stood up. "Well, it's getting late. I think I'm going to get a hotel room and get some sleep."

He blinked, frowning.

"What's wrong with my house?! It's not that far away."