Who Ya Gonna Call?!

He frowned deeply.

"Well, he kept going on about how he's not worthy of you..." He shrugged slightly. "I was worried so I asked, but he got angry at me. Did he work it out with you?"

She coughed nervously.

"He...he's been saying that?..."

He sighed.

"I'm guessing you don't know what that's about, either?"

She nodded.

"I...Well, I guess there is one thing, but I don't know if I should tell you..."

He rose an eyebrow.

"Please, I really just want Derek to be happy! If I know, maybe I can convince him that he'll be fine?"

She nodded, sniffling quietly.

"Well...a while ago, he, um...Well, he asked for sex." She sighed deeply. "Now, Derek isn't a virgin, but I am..and I told him I wanted to wait until marriage. He seemed pretty upset...maybe he feels dirty, compared to me?.." She took a deep breath. "Please talk to him; I think he's still getting dressed."

Mars nodded.

"I'll go talk to him."

He pulled Priestly along, and as soon as the bride couldn't hear he complained, "That was unhelpful."

Priestly slapped Mars on the side of his head.

"Ow!" He whined even more. "What was that for?!"

"It hasn't been that long, has it? You suck at this job, now." He chuckled softly. "I was going to let you have this one, but it seems that may prove dangerous for the innocent people involved, Marsy."

He frowned.

"I'm not as OLD as you, so I don't know as much you." He said grumpily.

"You sure do complain like you're older than me," he laughed. "But in any case, we learned two important things from that little encounter: they're having relationship problems and, more importantly, the demon changing into a tuxedo as we speak. We just have to find him."

"Wasn't that obvious, though?" He replied, quirking an eyebrow. "Besides, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this anyway."

He shrugged.

"If it was obvious, why didn't you just go there first? Now come on, Marsy, to the changing rooms~!" He grabbed his hand, kissing it.

He pinched Priestly, annoyed.

"Yes, yes, let's go."

He made a little "rawr" sound before dragging Mars through several rooms. Finally, they approached a door near where they had started; it was clearly labeled, "Groom and Groomsmen".

He chuckled sheepishly.

"Let's go in, eh?"

Mars pinched him again.

"Only you." He opened the door as quietly as possible.

Inside, the groom was alone. He was staring at himself in the mirror, grinning like a retard.

"Aaah, I am irresistible~" He cooed lovingly.

"You too, huh?" said Priestly loudly, closing the door behind them.

The groom hardly flinched. He looked at them out of the corner of his eyes.

"If you're here for a threesome, you have bad timing."

Priestly nodded.

"We're actually here to send you back to hell. I have a vacuum with me, you see..."

The demon rolled his eyes.

"You're lame. I don't even know why I thought you were here for sex."

He grinned.

"But I'm joking! We actually are here for sex--it's Marsy's first time, you see, and he needs to get laid."

He turned around immediately.

"Wait, he's a virgin?"

Mars just glared at Priestly intensely.

Priestly nodded, feeling up Mars.

"Come on, you, me, him--double penetration, yes or yes?"

Mars yelped, unable to stop himself.

Still, a smile slowly formed on Derek's face.

"No, just him. You, get out." He ordered Priestly.