A Forced First Date Is Not Usually A Good One

Lydia's nostrils flared, and she shoved him back up against the wall.

"Is this a fucking joke?!" she snarled. "How about I don't beat your fucking face in for saying that, you little shit--how about that's your fucking reward for teaching me sign language!" She shook him as she spoke, but there was fear hidden deep in her glare. What if he wouldn't teach her otherwise? How on earth was she going to win over Renee? The fear just made her more determined to scare the shit out of Max.

"O-okay!" Max replied, beads of sweat running down his forehead. "I-I get it, I'll teach you."

She let go of him, punching the wall next to his face to hide the fact that her hands were starting to shake.

"Who'd wanna fuck a little weasel like you anyway? Prolly got a fucking tiny-ass uncircumcised dick."

"Y-yeah, t-totally," he squeaked, hoping he could escape to a bathroom soon. "Um, so, when...? D'you wanna learn? A-actually, just text me, see you later!"

"Hey, don't run away," she growled, twisting his arm behind his back and pressing him against the wall. "Do you want me to fuck you up? Set a time and place and maybe then I'll let you go, shitface."

He grimaced, primarily because he was more aroused than afraid.

"Uhh, uh, Saturday, my house, noon?"

"I'll be there," she replied, shoving him into the wall and walking toward the door. "Text me your address later, meat."

-x-

Max sighed, reclining in his living room. He was wondering when Lydia would get there, and if he had time for a quickie before she got there.

Lydia knocked on the door at the moment; it sounded like someone was trying to break it down.

"Open up, Max!" she barked. "I'm here to study!"

Max swore. Too bad.

He opened the door.

"Hi Lydia," he replied nervously.

"'Sup," she replied gruffly, shoving her way inside. "I left my bike on the grass--that's okay, right?" It wasn't a question so much as it was a statement.

"Sure," he replied, not sure at all. He sat down on his couch, pointing to the chair across from him.

"Sit. Today, I'll teach you the alphabet."

She sat down and crossed her legs, not bothering to remove her shoes. This place was dumpy, anyway.

"Get to teaching before I get to beating your face in."

Max help up his hand.

"This," he said, shaping it. "Is 'a' in sign language."

"But how do I say 'I love you and I think you're great?'" she interrupted, scowling. "How the fuck am I going to get Renee to love me with the letter 'a?'"

"Like this," Max replied, signing it to her. "If that's all you can say Renee won't like you. You have to learn how to talk to her, so we have to start from the beginning."

She groaned, pouting.

"Fine. You know I'll kill you, if you teach me wrong, right? I'll pound in your fucking face." Something about her voice was more desperate than angry, and she looked at Max with big puppy dog eyes. "I'm big enough to rip you in half, you know."

"I know," Max replied, crossing his legs. "Anyway, make the sign," he held up the 'a'.

Lydia did so incorrectly, still pouting.

"Like this?"

He adjusted her fingers accordingly.

"Like that," he replied, showing her how to make it once more.

"Okay. Now teach me some actual useful shit," she demanded.

He frowned. He knew this was a mistake.

"We have to start with the basics, or Renee woll just dismiss you," he insisted. "Trust me, I know."

"You know Renee--what does she like in a girl?" she asked, staring at him pointedly. "If you lie, I'll put you in the hospital."

"I've never known Renee to be interested in women," he replied, shrugging. "I could tell you what she likes in men though."

"Do it," she said, leaning forward in her seat. "Tell me everything you know."