I HATE YOU I LOVE YOU

Sighing, Merlin picked up the book, staring at it.

"People actually read this garbage?"

"I like romance novels. Is there something strange about that?"

He laughed.

"They're for middle-aged women with failing marriages and other people who can't get any actual romance--it's pathetic."

Folding the paperback in half, he shoved it into his mouth whole.

"There--I did you a favor."

"I like romance." He stated again, as if sad by the disappearance of his book. "I suppose I'll have to buy another copy tomorrow."

"With what money? I haven't paid you yet."

"I always have money. I like to be frugal, but I was enjoying that book, so I'll make an exception."

He scoffed.

"Then I'll make sure you don't get paid much--you don't need it, right?

"Not particularly. I can hunt for my food. I only use my money on luxuries that I don't need." He explained simply.

He smiled, clapping.

"Splendid--I get the profits for both of us."

"Go ahead, as long as I get some money for books."

"Oh, you don't," he said simply, smiling and laying down on his bed.

"I expect you to wake up early tomorrow--we have a lot of work to do."

"I'll be up at four every morning." He told Merlin simply.

"Then first job as assistant--wake me up at seven," he commanded. "If you fail, you will be punished. This may be a partnership, but don't you think for one second that I'm not the boss here."

"Yes, master." It was sarcasm, but the lack of tone in his voice made it come off quite strangely.

"'Your Magnificence' will do just fine, thanks--people only call me 'Master' in bed."

"No, I think I'll call you Master anyway." He decided.

"...You really are gay, aren't you?" he sighed.

"You seem particularly hung up on that idea. Does it excite you?"

He glared.

"Excuse me? I told you, it's disgusting."

"I find group sex disgusting, but you don't see me bringing it up every few minutes." He pointed out.

He grinned.

"Oh, so you do have emotions--good to know. I was worried you had enjoyed it, being a homo and all."

"Really, does the idea of me being gay make you that happy?" He wondered. "By all means, think what you will, but I don't like either gender."

"If you were gay, I'd throw you out," he insisted. "I wanted an assistant I could sleep with, but by no means a big hair gross male one. Besides--if I were to sleep with a man, I'd pick someone beautiful, like...well, like me~ Not someone gross and hairy and homely like you."

"Then I expect you won't bring it up again." He said simply. "I am going to bed now, so, goodnight."

He rolled his eyes.

"I still don't believe you aren't gay--just look at how sensitive you are about the issue. But, I digress..." He clapped, turning off his lamp. "Remember, seven a.m. sharp--or there will be consequences.