When Mars Was A Bitch and Priestly Was A Pedophile

He almost snapped his precious CD in half when Priestly mentioned the 'boys' again.

"Stop saying that!" He snapped, forcefully shoving the CD into the player. "And no, they aren't popular because no one at my school has good taste in music!"

He pouted.

"They just don't get how great Jon Foreman is..."

Priestly gasped.

"But you're such a cool young man, Mars--not a square by any stretch of the imagination. How are the boys and/or girls not all over you, yet? You're a good-looking young man, too."

"Can we please talk about this some other time?" He muttered, feeling his face turn red. He hated admitting that people at school practically bullied him. "And stop that about the 'boys' thing!! I'm not a fag, and neither was anyone at my school, okay?!"

He laughed.

"I highly doubt that, Mars--that's statistically impossible. Completely straight people are actually rarer than one would assume. So, you have any celebrities that you like?"

"Celebrities? Well, I really like Jon Foreman..." He smiled a little bit. "Uhm. I don't watch much TV, though..."

"Me neither," he said, nodding. "I used to watch it tons when I first got a telly, but now it seems so...mundane. Like there are no good programs on. Though I suppose I could just be getting jaded in my old age--though, I do very much love travel! Travel and helping people are two of my greatest joys. That's why I was so overjoyed to meet a young lad like you--now I have someone to share it with!" He patted Mars on the head again, beaming.

Mars protested, slicking his hair back yet again.

"Stoppit!" He insisted, taking his hair out of the ponytail so he could put it back in. He frowned slightly, however as he said, "a...are you really sure you don't mind me coming with you? I mean, I can't pay for food or anything..."

"Nonsense!" he exclaimed jovially. "I'm paying for company, aren't I? Besides, I'm sure you'll earn your keep--you seem like a bright young lad. I'll even give you spending money from time to time--a single man of the cloth doesn't need many funds to sustain himself."

He looked away, fiddling with his rosary.

"Well, just...Okay." He mumbled, kind of embarrassed. "I'll try to be useful."

"No need to try--I'm certain you will be. You're such a smart young boy."

He blushed even more.

"L-let's talk about something else." He insisted, looking away.

"Okay--you pick the topic, this time!"

"...Do, uhm...What sort of food do you like?" He asked.

"Strawberries," he replied in the most suggestive tone possible. He licked his lips. "They're my favorite food in the entire world. They taste delicious and they're good for the body."

"Oh..." Why couldn't he stop blushing? "Never mind. Do you like, uhm, boardgames?"

He shrugged.

"Never had an opportunity to play them. You?"

"It's all I ever did with my siblings. Oh. Do you have family?" He asked curiously.

"Yes, they're dead," he replied brightly. "I would rather not speak about them, I have my reasons as to why I left home."

"O-oh...I'm sorry." He said awkwardly. "Never mind. Uhhhhhh..."

What else to say?

He chuckled.

"It's okay, you know. I'm not offended. I just prefer to hear about you--you're such an interesting young lad."

"...me?" He asked. Then he laughed and shook his head. "No, honestly, you don't have to lie..."

"...Mars, lying is a sin," he said frankly. "I would never lie."

"But...I'm not interesting. At all." He insisted. "I mean...my only interests are Switchfoot and praying."

"Haha, still far more interesting than me," he insisted. "Besides, it's been far too long since I've had company interested in talking--normally they only want something else."

"...You mean your clients, right?" He said, before he could ask. He didn't want to hear the truth. He just hoped Priestly didn't correct him.