Priestly Goes To The Blind Store And Makes A Purchase

"I can't give myself a handjob," he explained. "If you were really here to help, you'd suck me off."

He frowned deeply.

"Y-you know that's not going to happen."

"It would if you were really intent on helping," he replied.

"I am intent on helping, but I know for certain that's not going to help you regain your vision!"

"But it'll sure make being blind suck less."

"No, it would make it suck more!" He wasn't sure how that made sense in the way he had intended it, but it made sense in an entirely different way. "N-never mind, it's not going to happen anyway!"

He nodded.

"Yes, yes, you're right--don't worry, handjobs are fine too."

"I am not touching you!" He insisted, crossing his arms and pouting. Not that Priestly could see that.