One and Two Walk Into a Bar

"Uhm. How am I supposed to prove that?" He asked, smiling hopefully.

"You already proved that you have no common sense, so it's fine," she retorted flatly. "Just leave me alone."

"But I love you! Come on, can't we just have sex once?"

"If you love me, you'll kill yourself and leave me alone," replied One without hesitation. "I will never love you back and I'm in the way of your goals, so you may as well end it now."

He sighed heavily.

"Fine. If I can't win you over by being nice, then I challenge you!" He shouted, jumping to his feet. "I'm going to beat you and become the REAL Number One!!"

She grinned, pulling out her gun.

"Do you honestly want to die?"

Bifrost took out his knives and grinned.

"I just want you to love me, babe."

"Guess which one of those is more likely," she said, taking a step back and aiming for his heart.

"I know you'll come around, One." He grinned at her. "After all, I'm fucking irresistible."

"Yes, but I have a gun," she said with a smile. "In one second, I could just end all of this--it's particularly hard to love a corpse."

"I bet I'm faster than your little gun." He motioned to her gun, giggling.

"Do you want to die this badly?" she asked, sighing.

"I'm not going to die." He said with false confidence. "At the least, it doesn't matter if I die or not."

"...Why not?" She sounded confused and a little unsure, for once.

He shrugged.

"I'm a synthetic. Who cares? I kill synthetics every day of my fucking life. None of them mind 'cause they just keep comin' back."

She glared at him, steadying her hand.

"Exactly. None of you disgusting...things know the meaning of life, do you? You're not human--you're just disgusting. I'm right, aren't I?!"

He rolled his eyes.

"Well, duh. If I die, I just come back. Who the fuck cares, right? But you know what? This little competition thingy keeps a lot of people alive. 'cause if they die, they start over, right? Pretty good reason to stay alive for most of them."

She scoffed.

"I'm an original--a human, born and not lab-made. I came from life, and I'm alive, but you--no, you have a sick bastardized illusion. You're not alive, you're just a replaceable part of a big, sick machine. And you know what? I'm never going to die at the hands of something worthless like you--my life can only be taken by another living being."

"So then what?" He asked, twirling his knife with his pointer finger. "What's the point of all of this, huh?"

"What the fuck do you mean?!" she exclaimed. "I'm going to kill you, because you're a blockhead--isn't it obvious?"

"I'll just come back." He said simply. "And they'll keep coming back, too, 'cause you can't ever kill a synthetic for good."

She laughed.

"Don't you get it, though? You won't be the same person--just some shit copy. You won't love me, you'll just think you do."

"Yeah, well, better than being how I am now." He said bitterly. "Not knowing anything. I'd at least like to think I have something worth living for, you know?"

"...Well, you don't!" she spat. "You're artificial, worthless--your purpose is to further the machine!"

"Then kill me." He said, shrugging indifferently.