One and Two Walk Into a Bar

Luckily for Bifrost, his amazing luck kicked in, and he managed to topple on top of One, while narrowly avoiding being speared by her sword.

"AUGH!" exclaimed One; she tried to squirm away, but the next thing she new her face was being introduced to the dirt.

Bifrost cheered.

"I WON!" He said happily, even though it had been a total fluke.

One kicked him in the side, still trying to get out from under him.

He stood up and dusted himself off, offering her a hand to help her up.

One stared at his hand with contempt, getting to her feet on her own.

"So...the match isn't over," she grumbled simply.

"I say it's over," said Bifrost as he wiped off his clothes. "I don't want to hurt you."

"...I'm number One until I'm dead, stupid," she said, holding up her gun. "Until one of us dies, the match isn't over."

He laughed.

"I don't want to be Number One." He told her.

"...Then why the fuck did you challenge me?!"

"To see if I could beat you." He smiled. "And take your virginity."

"But you didn't beat me or take my virginity!" she spat defensively, blushing. "I don't even like you!"

He smiled at her.

"I know." He said simply.

One looked away, blushing.

"...You don't even know what love feels like. You're just a synthetic."

"Well, I know that I certainly like you." He smiled, and then laughed slightly. "So it's good enough for me."

She glared at him.

"...If I agree to have sex with you, how do I know you're not going to kill me? Or just leave afterward?"

"If I wanted to fuck and leave, I'd hire a prostitute." He pointed out. "And killing you during sex would be disgusting. Ew."

She smirked.

"...What the fuck is in it for me?"

"It's sex." He said simply. "Isn't it obvious what's in it for you?"

"I'm not interested in sex," she said simply, shrugging. "Offer me something worthwhile."

"I'll bear your children."

"Well, you'll always have me around." He giggled. "I'll never. Ever. Ever. Stop coming after you."

"I'm perfectly fine on my own," she lied unconvincingly.

"Too bad, 'cause I'm not leaving." He crossed his arms. "So there."

"...How does sex, work, anyway?" she asked quietly.

"Oh. I know!" He exclaimed excitedly. "I can shooow you!"